Noel Gallagher

Paul McCartney reversing the Lennon-McCartney songwriting credit…out of order or what?
::: David Mccarthy, Longford

He’ll pay for that! It’s not gone down too well in fucking Liverpool, that’s for sure. He’s also trying to get the cigarette from the Abbey Road cover airbrushed out of his hand ’cause, in the long run, he thinks it’ll affect record sales in America. I say to you, “How long before they start airbrushing Ringo out and then George and then John?” I think it’s a disgrace and he should be fucking ashamed of himself.

I’ve met Paul and think he’s a lovely, lovely guy but I don’t think he understands what The Beatles mean to people. Part of me thinks, “Is it just a cynical ploy to make all the original albums worth twice as much?” It’s quite sad that being the greatest living bass-player in the world, and an equal half of the greatest songwriting partnership ever, isn’t enough for him. Maybe his new wife said, “Did you write ‘Hey Jude’? Not a lot of people know that,” and he went, “Oh, really!”

Did you have a good giggle when those Mafia blokes twatted Liam?
::: Gary Kearns, Westport

At the beginning when he was arrested and carted off to hospital in pain, no. But now, I think it’s stunningly fucking hilarious. In the unlikely event that they’re reading this, I’d like to say to the Italian Mafia people, “Thanks for saving us the job!” There was a large queue forming in England for the pleasure of kicking that cunt’s face in, and I happened to be at the front of it!

Have you been reading about Zöe and Norman with the same fascination that we read about you and Meg and Liam and Patsy?
::: Sarah-Jane Moloney, People’s Republic Of Cork

I’m not fascinated by people’s celebrity at all. What they get up to in their own time is nobody’s business except theirs. And the other people they happen to be shagging! It brings back memories of getting up every morning thinking, “What the fuck’s it going to be today?” It’s not very nice, but there’s no point boo-hoo-hoo-ing about it.

Would you let your kids sleep over at Michael Jackson’s?
::: Elaine Gogarty, London

I wouldn’t have thought my kids would want to for starters. His playground’s got to be worth a go though, hasn’t it? I do feel a bit sorry for him – he was kind of stitched up by that Michael Bashir guy. Watching it I was thinking, “It’s 45 minutes now and they’re painting him – no pun intended – to be this whiter than white guy. When are they going to turn on him?” I can’t see Michael Jackson being a kiddie-fiddler when he blatantly shows all that stuff to the world. He’s quite naïve, very sensitive and obviously as mad as a box of frogs! The guy got whipped by his dad ’cause he was dancing out of step, no wonder he wants to be kind to children! He doesn’t live by the same values as everybody else. We live in a society where if my kids were to get into your bed, you’d either get your throat cut or thrown in jail. He doesn’t. He’s been in showbiz since he was five, what the fuck does he know? He probably thinks it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Anything to say to Pete Townshend?
::: Charlie Mcgrath, Portadown

Silly boy! He’s a hero and I know him. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since, but he was stupid, wasn’t he?

You said in your last hotpress interview that Bono had given you two books. What are they?
::: David McNamara

Searching For The Invisible God and What’s So Amazing About Grace?, which are both by Philip Yancey. He sent one to me and one to me girlfriend – she finished hers because she reads like a fucking madman and I got the gist of mine.

You’ve toured quite a bit in the past with U2. Would you ever cover a song of theirs?
::: Nigel Livsey, Southampton

I would. I don’t think anyone else in the band is a major fan but I am though. There are a few off Rattle & Hum that are quite good and I love ‘All I Want Is You’. Yeah, I’d have a go.

Had you ever heard of Brian Kerr and, now that you definitely have, is Richard Dunne enough of a reformed character at Man City to be picked for Ireland?
::: Tadgh Geraghty, Wexford Town

Brian Kerr could be one of Boyzone or Westlife for all I know! Should he pick Richard Dunne? I’d have thought so. I’ve seen him play about half-a-dozen times this season and he’s been fucking incredible. Unfortunately for him, when he makes a howler it’s usually on the television and quite fucking serious.

Will Robbie Fowler make all the difference up front, and how short is Wright-Philips really?
::: Pauldoc, Dublin

I’ve never met Sean Wright-Philips but you’ve only got to look at him to realise that he’s beyond a dwarf. It’s too late for Robbie Fowler to have an impact this season, but next I reckon he’ll have a second wind and end up playing for England again. Having him and Nicolas Anelka in the same team is fucking incredible!

Is it true that you banned Ronan Keating from covering ‘Cigarettes & Alcohol’?
::: Keith, Portstewart

It’s that fucking twat from The Sun, isn’t it? He’s got fuck all else to write in his fucking column so he… I couldn’t for the life of me see Ronan Keating singing that song and beginning to think he could get away with it. Not in terms of us stopping him, ‘cause we can’t unless he changes the lyrics or the arrangement, but pulling it off. Rod Stewart tried it and you’re either Liam or you’re not.

Have you heard T.A.T.U.’s version of The Smiths’ ‘How Soon Is Now’?
:::Helen, Manchester

They’re the ones who are flogging themselves as being lesbians, yeah? Fair enough. We could do with a bit more of that sort of thing in the charts! I haven’t heard them doing ‘How Soon Is Now’, but I imagine Morrissey would approve. Johnny Marr certainly would.

If you could jam with anybody for one song, who and what would it be? My nomination is The Smiths ‘This Charming Man’.
::: Macker, Dublin

That’d be too difficult for me to play. Something by The Velvet Underground. I’ve started listening to them a lot recently. It’s very, very good Sunday morning music – especially ‘White Heat, White Light’ which is the one I’d probably do with ’em.

For a band that’s supposedly on its last legs, you sold the Point out pretty quick.
:::Jill, Naas

I know and the single (‘Songbird’) is number one in the mid-weeks. You get five years’ good grace out of the UK music press and then it’s, “Right, you can fuck off now!” It was the same for The Smiths and The Jam and the Sex Pistols and all those bands who actually meant something to people. You get your five years and then they want something new, which I haven’t a problem with. I’ll keep doing it for as long as it makes me happy. We get slagged off every fucking day in the newspapers, but so what?

I read that in one of your early interviews you namechecked Aslan as a band who’d influenced you. True?
::: Mark McEvoy

No (laughs). Did he used to be in ’em or something? I used to have a record by Horslips but that’s as far as it goes. He’s probably getting Aslan mixed up with them.

Any plans to treat us to a new song or three at the Dublin gigs?
::: Aine Cooney, Swords

No, sorry. I’ve written two, one of which we probably wouldn’t be able to get away with playing live. We can’t even get Liam to rehearse fucking old songs, let alone new ones. He’s just a lazy fucker. He doesn’t soundcheck, he doesn’t rehearse… I’ll ask him next time I see him what he actually fucking does!

Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera – A) Musically and B) Sexually?
::: Rory Maher, Waterford

Could they not be a double-act? Like T.A.T.U.? ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ is a really good song, but I’ve never heard anything of Christina Aguilera’s that moves me one way or the other. As for fancying either of ’em, they’re not my type really.

What’s the full story behind you re-recording ‘Wonderwall’?
::: Louise Denning, Galway

The full story is this… Our fucking very, very, very good friends at the NME wanted a cover-mount CD of the bands who’d been nominated for their awards. Which included us. They said, “Have you got anything we can use?” I said, “No, but as I’m in the studio at the moment with a mate of mine’s band, I’ll do something for you.” I’d been doing this version of ‘Wonderwall’ on tour, so we stuck a mike in the room and I just sat and played it. We gave it to them for their poxy CD, and the next thing you open the NME and they’re saying, “They’ve done this mystery version, where will it end up?” You fucking wankers! So we got on the phone and said, “We’ll tell you where it won’t end up, and that’s your fucking magazine.” It has been recorded and it is fantastic.

Would you like to do MTV Unplugged?
::: Dearbhla O’Shea, Roscrea

We’ve already done it, years ago. I’d love to do another one, this time with Liam who was previously too busy drinking or something. Forget that, I’ll do it on me own! I think them things are better with just one person and a guitar.

Given the great job he did with George Harrison, would you think of getting Jeff Lyne to produce your next album?
::: Zaphod, Dublin

I’m open to any offers by any producer ’cause I think that’s what we need for the next one. The only people we’ve used have been mates – Mark Coyle who co-produced Definitely Maybe, he’s a friend of mine. Owen Morris came through Johnny Marr and was an engineer, basically. I’d have said Phil Spector but it looks like he’s going down, doesn’t it? When I heard somebody had been shot dead at his house, I thought, “Fucking hell, I hope it’s the singer out of Starsailor.” Phil Spector produced their new album, which is the only remotely interesting thing about Starsailor.

Who’s your all-time favourite producer?
::: Joe Reedy

It has to be George Martin. John or McCartney never gave him as much credit as he deserved, but listen to the home demo of ‘Strawberry Fields’ on the Anthology and you realise just how great his input was. ‘I Am The Walrus’ is another one he completely transformed. He had a TV series about where music comes from, which he interviewed me for whilst playing ‘Wonderwall’. How fucked up was that? Him asking me about the art of songwriting!

What’s the most you spent in a week on cocaine and should it be legalised?
:::Rony Murphy, Frinton-On-Sea

There used to be stories in the press about us having a forty grand a week coke habit, and we worked it out that you’d have to do something like 30 or 40 grams a day. I’ve done me fair share, but that’s a bit excessive! I don’t think it should be legalised – it’s no coincidence that people who get into it heavily are off it within a couple of years. It’s not very creative. Marijuana and alcohol on the other hand, grand.

Do you remember your first Belfast gig in The Limelight? Local legend has it that Alan McGee followed you over and signed you in the bar. True?
::: Exax, Belfast

We weren’t signed in the bar, but we were told in the dressing room before going on that Definitely Maybe was number one. Not by Alan McGee but Dick Green who was part of Creation. We celebrated and then got the fuck out of town because the ceasefire had just been broken.

The best night out you’ve had in Ireland?
::: Eoin Byrne, Dublin

They’ve all either been concerning gigs or funerals. You can always have a good night out after a funeral in Ireland, I find. Probably at me Gran’s wake when the whole family had a big sing song and got arseholed in her honour. Which, I hasten to add, she’d have thoroughly approved of.

Keane or McCarthy?
::: Owen Turner, Dublin but currently living in France

Roy Keane. I have to point out that this is strictly speaking as a Republic of Ireland fan. When he plays for Manchester United, I wish nothing but broken limbs on the bastard. If you’re going to go training for the World Cup and there aren’t any footballs… Mick McCarthy calling that meeting so all the players could tell him what they thought of him was fucking stupid. I’m not going to say a bad word about Roy, though, in case I meet him out one afternoon. He’d kick your head in, wouldn’t he? Bonehead lives near him in Manchester and I’ve heard stories!

What wonderful quote or comment would you like on your headstone?
::: Sian, Belfast

There’s a pretty good one from Spinal Tap – “Here lies Noel Gallagher and why not?”

If you could change one thing about your career, what would it be?
::: Michael Browne, Abbeyfeale

I’d have had a year off immediately after that Knebworth gig. And then probably another six months writing what became Be Here Now. We tried to follow up (What’s The Story) Morning Glory a bit too quickly. But other than that, fuck all really, because it’s been a pretty good laugh.

What song did you find most difficult to write and why?
::: Michael Browne, Abbeyfeale

The last one because I’m having quite a bit of trouble writing at the minute. I’ll be half way through something and think, “Hang on, I’ve been here already.” So that’s been getting on me tits. I don’t know where we’re going yet with the next record. Liam’s been in the studio with Gem doing stuff, which judging from what they’ve played me on tour in the dressing room is pretty good.

Do you seriously think that the current one is the best Oasis line-up ever?
::: Frank Lee-Dubious, Ennis

I do. Gem, in particular, is a joy to be in a band with. Bounce an idea off him and he’ll come back to you with 30 more. That’s what was lacking in Oasis for years. Andy…it’s a shame that one of us won’t take the bass off him because he’s by far and away the best guitarist in the band. Fucking fantastic!

Come across any good new bands recently?
::: Jo Jo

Yes, they’re called The Stands. They’re from Liverpool and they sound like The La’s… before they went completely bonkers! John Power came out with a classic line at one of their gigs recently – “Listen to that bassline, it sounds like a five-sided cube!” It made complete sense as well!

Are you a bit of a romantic at heart?
::: Caroline Clooney, Clonmel

No. I don’t do romance. It’s not for me. It’s all bullshit, isn’t it? I don’t do birthdays or Christmas or any of that fucking sentimental claptrap. Football, drinking, sex. Those are the important things in life. And music. I’d never write a fucking poem but I’d put in a song. That’s different.