JUST CALL IT MUSIC

I've been taken to task by reader Brian Bolger from the band Cushy for the compulsive need I and everybody else in HP seems to have to put every band into a descriptive compartment. "Why does a band have to be described as an acoustic electro-funk outfit with a touch of acid house country rock?", he asks, "why can't we just call it music? I play in a band who like all kinds of music and we object to the idea that everybody in the media and in the music business wants to put us in a box."

While I can sympathise with Brian's dilemma I can't see any solution. Let's face it, it's not just the media or the industry who do this. Tell your rich uncle or your kid sister about a band they've never heard of and chances are they're likely to ask you what kind of band they are. To reply that they just play music is hardly likely to help arouse interest or tell uncle or sister anything useful at all.
The descriptions that many musicians understandably object to are usually only used as signposts directing the uninitiated towards what the band might sound like - and without them what else can you say? If we're going to just call it all music, why not also do away with band names and song titles too? That would not just make it easier for us, but it would be great for DJs who would only have to say "Here's another song by a band. I hope you like it. If you do I'll play another one".
In a slightly similar vein Jonathan Fenton, from a band who just recently broke up, has a bone to pick with A&R men (but don't we all?).
According to Jonathan: "Over the past two years we had a fair bit of contact with record companies. When they discussed our tapes they put us down by telling us that we were too much like sixties bands. The Small Faces and The Who in particular kept cropping up. But nobody in the band can remember ever hearing the Small Faces even once, and the only stuff we heard by The Who would have been a couple of classic hits on the radio and we don't consider them as influences at all. It's a bit maddening."
Sure, Jonathan, but there might be a number of different explanations. There must be something in it if different folks kept mentioning the same bands, no? You have to bear in mind that you can be influenced by an artist indirectly as much as directly. For example, if you nicked a few tricks from Lenny Kravitz, to somebody else that might sound like you had picked up on some Jimi Hendrix stylistics even if you had never actually heard the great Jimi. It's just that Lenny owes some big debts to him. See?
Meanwhile there are bands too who seem to put themselves in boxes which are totally misleading.
Galus are a feisty guitar-led band from London whose lead singer Frankie hails from Drogheda. They describe themselves as an Indie band, but that don't fool me, unless you want to file such blatantly commercial pop-rock acts as The Stereophonics, Beck, U2 and REM in that category. They also claim to have a distinctive Celtic feel to their music, which is just more fanciful nonsense.
In the real world Galus pack a serious punch and could be real contenders in the pop-rock department. Frankie and Gavin, the guitar-player, write some appealing songs, especially 'Please Yourself', which has a great chorus, with the same plaintive feel as REM's 'Everybody Hurts'. It benefits from a driving rhythm section who know when to play it cool and it features an effectively sinuous guitar.
'Anyway' is another medium-paced builder with more than a hint of U2 - it has the kind of hypnotic bass that became Adam Clayton's calling card. 'The World Turns Around Us' has more echoes of REM, but it's spunky stuff and they deliver it with style and panache.
But indie or Celtic they ain't.
Then again there's Shelf Life, a band who describe themselves as "a fresh and undefinable alternative music enigma transcending generations that have been caught up in commercialism and creative stagnancy". Having heard the demo I have to confess I don't think I've read such gobshitery from a band in years.
When you actually listen to them, it turns out that Shelf Life are essentially clones of acoustic guitar pop-rock acts bands like Travis.
On '10 Minute Aggression' their lead vocalist has problems with his pitching at times and sound like he's been picking up too many bad habits from post-Britpop bands of Space vintage. The live 'Smokey Hash Guru' is a more beguiling affair, with a snaky guitar and some nicely controlled passages that hint at what the band might be capable of if they concentrated more on their music rather than making fatuous claims. 'Insane' is just more copycat stuff that only highlights the delusions of the claims in their press release.
Yes, boxes can be dangerous things, no matter who puts you in them.