Swing When You're Winning

The swinging party scene is rapidly becoming one of the most popular subcultural phenomenons in Ireland at the moment – and it’s all thanks to the internet.

There are now dozens of swinging forums online – such as ‘swing4ireland.com’ and ‘alternativeireland’ – operating here for sexually adventurous couples. Apart from allowing couples to hook up for some kinky sex fun, some of these websites can also facilitate ‘adult video chat’ and offer comprehensive directories of so-called ‘dogging’ locations. This is basically a list of secluded locations in Ireland where people regularly go after dark to engage in voyeurism, exhibitionism and even group sex. While dogging is primarily an outdoor pursuit, it appears to be an activity that’s restricted to cars in public places. This phenomenon is becoming so popular that there are an ever-growing number of subscription websites, based in the UK, on which couples can swap video footage of their activities.
While some swinging parties are organised in hotels, the majority of these events are being hosted in homes throughout every county in Ireland. Hot Press made contact, via a swinging website, with one man named Paul (not his real name) who organises sex parties almost every weekend in his home. At these evenings, those invited pay an entry fee of €20 to cover the night’s expenses of refreshments and snacks. On any given night, Paul explains, there might be a dozen or more couples, mostly in their 30s to 50s, and several younger, single people who’ll attend one of his get-togethers for some serious hedonistic fun.
Paul dislikes the ‘swinging’ phrase.
“The first thing is to stop thinking that it’s swinging. Swinging was something people did in the ‘70s with the fruit bowl full of car keys and people heading off to different rooms. This is adult fun. You could end up with three or four different partners in the one night at my parties,” the 40-year-old Dubliner explains. “Nowadays it’s a lot easier to make contact with like-minded people. There are dozens of great websites. Someone on these sites isn’t looking for a pen friend! You go in and talk in a chat room. After you’ve sifted through all the single guys trying to pass themselves off as a couple, you’ll start talking to a person you like. Chat leads to private chat, which leads to using your own msn and then phone. It’s very safe and by the time you meet in person you usually know a lot about the people.”
He also dislikes using the ‘orgy’ idiom.
“From what I‘ve seen with orgies, there was a commitment to do stuff when you were there. Here, there is no such commitment. Look it, how many people actually get to live out their fantasies? Very few. And the reason is, people are afraid of their neighbours or their workmates finding out. Ireland, as a nation, is still very prudish,” Paul maintains.
“Alternative sex is not just about wham bam, thank you mam. Most women who come to this have had that from their husbands all their lives. This is living out the porn movie you watched the night before. The experienced people know how to play it. A girl gets the ultimate experience with like-minded people and can leave that room and never see them again.”
Paul insists that swinging is not about physical attraction, but rather people’s willingness to be adventurous and raunchy. In fact, he says most single men who want to attend his swinging parties do so because they have the misconception of them being populated with nothing but glamorous women.
“These guys will nearly always leave disappointed. Looks don’t really come into the equation, which is the great thing about this alternative lifestyle. At my last party, we had a mix – the girls were size 14 to 20 and the lads normal build. There’s no pressure to do anything but, saying that, it normally ends up with group sex scenarios. Most women that come to these parties love having three or more men giving her their full, undivided attention. And most women – no matter how straight they are – will nearly always end up with another woman,” says a grinning Paul. “I went to a fetish party recently and at it you had every shape and size going. I know one woman who is a size 22 and she will show up in a leather catsuit. If she walked into a so-called ‘normal’ nightclub everyone would laugh at her. At these parties, people will be all over her, asking her where she got it, telling her how fab she looks, and she will feel a million dollars.”
While it might sound like a strange world, the impression Paul gives of swinging in Ireland is that of a relatively harmless subculture.
“We do have a great laugh on these nights. We play games; there’s joking and laughing. It’s normal people having a normal, fun time. The people who attend have normal jobs. I’ve met office workers, taxi drivers, teachers, nurses, and even journalists at these events,” he concludes.