Irish pop artist Jack Rua on Covid's mental toll: "It sounds nihilistic, but it feels like there's no point in trying to pursue music right now"

Jack Rua has been a major presence on Ireland's music scene for a number of years now, bringing a unique brand of art pop and queer joy to the stage. Here, the 'Narcissus' singer reflects on Ireland's past and current Covid-19 restrictions, which have majorly affected the music industry - particularly live performing.

2020 was a write-off for the majority of musicians, recording artists and performers. We sat and twiddled our thumbs, quietly accepting that during a pandemic our industry couldn’t really justify being open and thriving. It tortured us to not be on stage but, like every other industry that was hindered by COVID, we got on with it and followed the public health and government advice.

At the beginning of 2021, I remember writing in my daily journal “this will be our year”. We would be vaccinated: if 70% of us were vaccinated we could open up again. We would have a better understanding of the virus logistically and our government would adapt to these new and challenging circumstances; reinforcing the public health and contact tracing systems so that industries involving close contact could begin to open again, as they had in countries like Germany, the UK, the US and Spain. The beginning of the year was bleak for everyone, but we had this to look forward to. Things were hopeful.

After a total of four rescheduled dates, I returned to the stage in August 2021, performing two shows in The Button Factory in Dublin. Although the show was socially distanced and fully seated, it felt like the beginning of a sort of restart. I was asked to do more shows, and it started to give me back some confidence. At the time, I didn’t really believe that this would be another false start, but six weeks later that is exactly what it proved to be. The last to open, the first to close down. Really hard to take.

I don’t want to get nihilistic, but sometimes it just feels like there is no point even trying to pursue music right now. The pandemic has meant that we are being made to mainly promote ourselves online, however social media algorithms are changing to hinder small creators and music press is becoming increasingly elitist and unobtainable so our releases can often fall on deaf ears online.

Those of us who treat live gigs as not only a financial asset but a key expression of our artistry are finding that our financial and emotional investments into our live shows are made completely worthless when we are forced to close down and essentially go back to square one. So many musicians are considering quitting music for good and are losing their passion and creativity; I must admit that I am one of them.

I wish I could end this piece on a more hopeful note, but I just can’t do it. The last two years have really knocked the wind out of my sails and it is so hard to grasp onto anything positive in such an awful and frustrating situation. My advice to other artists and people working in the music industry would be to just remember that you are not alone. This is a shared experience with millions of other people, your pain is valid.

Try not to be overcome with anger at the often baffling decisions made by those in power. All we can really do is keep on keeping on support one another and be kind to ourselves. If we do this, surely one day we can go back to doing what we do best.

• Minding Creative Minds' free services can now be contacted by texting ‘Hi’ to 087 369 0010 for SMS & WhatsApp Support (standard rate applies) with a qualified psychotherapist / counsellor. Minding Creative Minds are a 32-county organisation working to help Irish creatives at home and abroad. Visit mindingcreativeminds.ie for more information on their lists of services.