How to win at the dating game

Being single is no hardship most of the time. You can spend all Saturday with a good book. You don’t have to cross-check schedules with a significant other. And most importantly, you can do what – and who! – you like.

But come February 14, many a carefree single soul begins to feel slightly miffed about the situation. Without someone to share an overpriced meal in a packed restaurant, hey, they feel relegated to second-class status. The feeling can be so acute that Match.com found that 12% of single people would consider getting into a temporary relationship just to avoid being without a date on Valentine’s Day. What’s even more surprising is that men were more likely to do this than women. (Or maybe that isn’t so surprising at all, now that I think about it!)
With six days to V-day, there are a number of ways and places you can try to find love or sex in the interim – in the hope, of course, that it’ll last till the 15th at least…

FINDING LOVE IN A PUB
There are an abundance of things to do on a weekend, but the pub still remains our favourite venue for socialising. When it comes to pulling, not all pubs are created equal, so choose wisely. Busy pubs where people are moving around, not sitting at a table with their mates, are more likely to yield results. Pubs with DJs are always a better bet than quieter places. And of course, any pub that attracts a large number of hen or stag parties is almost always a good place to score. Think ‘meat market’ not ‘quiet pint’.
An unexpected bonus of the smoking ban is that it’s even easier to meet people ‘in’ pubs than ever before. You’ll have to develop a bad habit or put up with second-hand smoke, but smokers shoved out into the cold together are generally friendly and talkative; and, as it’s not so loud, it’s easier to strike up a conversation outside than indoors.
It is possible to find love in a pub, but generally they are more likely to yield casual encounters. Just remember that alcohol can make you take risks, so be sure you’ve got protection before weighing in to the drink ­– or the talent.

EVER TRIED ONLINE DATING?
A profile on a dating site is the modern equivalent of the personal ad. For many people personal ads held a whiff of desperation, but the popularity of on-line dating has removed this stigma. Most of us have either tried it, or know someone who has. If the statistics are to be believed, one in ten Irish singles are looking for sex and love online.
The great thing about on-line dating is that it can take you completely outside your routine sphere of activity. A professor can get off with a plumber – and it doesn’t matter which sex is which either. There are, of course, sites dedicated to specific requirements. Whether you’re looking for long-term love or just a quick shag, there is a site out there for you.
The downside is that because Internet dating can be fairly anonymous, you may not always get what you expect. People lie. Did you know that I have long dark hair and 36DD boobs? Well some people think I might. Women tend to lie about their looks, age and weight. Blokes too. It’s also not unusual for men who are looking for sex to say that they want a relationship because, unfortunately for straight men, women tend to be in the minority on casual contact sites.
Many dating websites also organise speed-dating events. Sometimes these are great, sometimes they are awful, but you won’t know until you go. Either way, events like this provide a good opportunity to meet the other people on your favourite site, particularly if you can persuade some of your favourite members to come along. That way you get to put faces to nom-de-plumes.
You shouldn’t necessarily restrict yourself to dating sites. Irish sites dedicated to particular interests are an easy way of meeting like-minded people. When I first came to Ireland, I met a number of people this way. Even better, I met my boyfriend through a girl who had been befriended by a mate of mine on hotpress.com. You never know where your on-line travels may take you!

TURNING TO YOUR FRIENDS
If you’re looking for love, not just a satisfying romp, your friends are often your best bet. Let them know you’re on the lookout for someone special. They all have cousins, colleagues, siblings or friends, any one of whom could be perfect for you. Dating within your social circle has the advantage that, in effect, whoever you decide to go out with has been vetted. Or to put it another way, if he or she is an inveterate boozer, a potential axe-murderer or merely a colossal bore, you’re likely to have got wind of it!

TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT YOUR WORKMATES
When you’re at college, you are surrounded by thousands of young, mostly single people. It’s no wonder many of us tend to flit from encounter to encounter during these years – there’s just so much opportunity. As you get older, your social circle gets smaller, the pickings become slimmer and the workplace, inevitably, becomes prime hunting ground.
A survey conducted by Monster.ie found that 31% of Irish women and 28% of Irish men have fallen in love with a colleague. This can be tricky if you work closely together, or if you dislike being the subject of office gossip, but at least you get to know your partner in a sober environment. And if your workplace is a desert filled with nothing but married people and old grumps, remember, there is always a better job out there somewhere.

MURDER ON THE DANCEFLOOR
Clubs and concerts are great places to meet people. Everyone is in a party mood, dancing and up for fun – and maybe even games. Plus you have a ready-made topic to get the conversation started, since you’re both there to see the same band or DJ. And things do happen on the dance floor, when someone is in the mood: throwing the right shapes, stealing a first kiss that lingers long enough for you to know that it might just be for real, now and then the magic works just the way it should and a connection is made. Love? Let the sex come first if that’s what’s on offer and you’d never know how or where it will go from there.
Like pubs, clubs and concerts are generally better for pulling than for finding the mother or father of your as yet unborn children. But who’s complaining, eh?

BE A CLASS ACT
From the gym to evening classes, all manner of places have been suggested as potential pick-up zones. But if you are going to learn basic carpentry or flower arranging, it had better be something you’ll enjoy, because chances are all the really hot folk are cavorting in clubs or at home with their equally gorgeous partners.
Whatever you choose to do, if it’s love you’re really after, it makes sense to try to find something where your sex is in the minority. Horny men with rhythm should note that salsa classes generally attract way more women than men. Of course you may feel like a plonker doing the dance, but if you’ve got the moves, they’ll all be after you!
In the end, probably the most important thing to do is to relax. If you’re anxious, that can communicate itself to people. Be yourself and take things as they come. They usually will – and you usually will too, with a bit of luck. If you go to guitar lessons because you want to be a great guitarist, then that’s a far better way to spend your time than doing a spot of wine tasting because you think there might be a few hot chicks on the premises. Maybe a bit of both would be in order…
Either way, remember that Valentine’s Day is a pretty cheesy invention. If you’re on your own, you’re on your own. In the meantime, happy hunting.