Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest

Every so often in American cinema, in accordance with the law which dictates that the shit will continue to hit the fan as long as nobody moves the fan and there is a continuous supply of shit, the studios will spew forth a jerkoff fart-and-shit-gag comedian for the entertainment of the swinish multiplex multitudes.

Jim Carrey and (more recently) Adam Sandler were the most prolific offenders of the decade just passed, and their mantle is about to be assumed by a dweeby San Franciscan called Rob Schneider.
His magnum opus, a stunningly unsubtle toilet-humour tour de force entitled Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo, is well on its way to surpassing the $100m mark Stateside a fact which has planted an enormous shit-eating grin on the countenance of its creator, who thus comes to sit opposite yours truly in a swish London hotel room.
In person, Schneider is a difficult fish to fathom: he employs a modicum of disarming charm and is extremely friendly without ever seeming especially genuine.
Has the film's mammoth US commercial success taken him by surprise?
Yeah, it's been nice, replies Schneider. Shocking, almost, but in a good way. I don't know if I tried to deceive myself, but I really thought this was going to be successful. I hadn't figured that it would become
a hit and I'd end up travelling around the world. So in that way it's a nice surprise I've been in so many movies that haven't worked, but this is the first one that I actually wrote and starred in, so I felt more in
control and I think that makes a
difference.
Had Schneider always envisioned himself as the 'star' of Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo?
On this one, yeah, I didn't think it was a big deal, he smiles. People asked me if I was nervous about my first starring role, where I'm the lead with my name above the title, the ugly fat guy in the poster but I didn't think it was scary or nervewracking. Because basically, I'm not playing Richard Gere, I'm playing a fat guy who cleans fish-tanks for a living, so there wasn't a whole lot to lose. People aren't gonna think of me as an egotistical asshole for playing Deuce. To be honest, I didn't give much thought to a lot of the critical reaction.
Which has been unremittingly negative:
It doesn't matter to me at all, pleads Schneider, I don't make films for critics, I make films for people who want to go and laugh at movies. I know some critics really enjoyed it, the Washington Post were real positive. Some critics fucking loathed it but fuck them, they can kiss my ass. I make movies to make people laugh.
This is gonna make a hundred million dollars, it's getting up there right now, he continues. People love it everywhere. I've seen it in Taiwan, translated into Mandarin, I saw it in Germany a couple of days ago, it's like the number one comedy in Singapore, it's the number one comedy in the Phillipines, in Hong Kong it's sold out every seat in every theatre. It s phenomenal.
Why does he think that is?
At its core, it's gross and it's got disgusting jokes and stuff but really it's a love story, about a loveable loser guy who falls in love with one of his loser clients. There's just something nice about it. I wrote all the love scenes first and built the film around them. I tried to make everything unpredictable, he goes on. Whatever reaction you have, it's gotta be a strong reaction, because I defy you not to. People either love it or they hate it, and that's a compliment to me, that I force people to make a strong opinion. All the ideas are real original.
What of the movie s hero ?
... Y'know, he's a nice guy Deuce is a guy who makes women feel better about themselves, and I think that's nice. And it's not just manipulative, we're not trying to have it both ways I honestly thought that was what was funny and just went for it. And the people have responded people have come out in droves and loved the movie, which is nice. As a film-maker, that's what you want.
How much of the real Schneider was present in Deuce's character?
Well, I worked my fucking ass off, I spent a whole year of my life on it 1999 was my Deuce year. He's a nicer guy than I am, though, and maybe a bit dumber.
But it's a physically funny film, and I enjoyed the physicality of it, that's part of the fun of making a movie. I mean, that's what makes me laugh. Peter Sellars made me laugh so hard in all those Pink Panther movies.
What other comic innovators have influenced Schneider's unique approach?
'Well, the Pythons, those guys were my heroes of all time. To me, this country [England] is like the Mecca of comedy. So that's why I hope the film does well here. I know that the reviews are gonna be mixed, but I hope that people like it and that's all I care about. I think that there's more profitability in American cinema for comedies, because they don't spend a lot of money and they can make a ton.'
It's making a ton alright, but one source of extreme annoyance to Schneider is the film's classification 18s here, and N-17s in the US, which automatically disqualifies the bulk of the target audience:
We got fucked by the conservative assholes, he explains. It coulda been 15s, but it was 17s, so we lost about fifteen million dollars from kids not seeing it. They're so worried about the sexual content in the States I think they were pissed off that South Park got so much attention and they've been really conservative since, so basically the rules changed while we were making the film. I've more problem with violence. I can't believe Sixth Sense got a PG rating and we were R, it's disgusting. You can see a fuckin' kid's fuckin' brain blown out but we can't have somebody saying 'man-whore' or 'he-bitch'. I mean, they were just complete fucking cunts to us, the NPAA. Conservative cunts. I just think they have their head up their ass, but I can't control that.
Schneider proceeds to fill me in on his future plans:
The next few films, I wanna strive to have that kinda powerful impact the Pythons had. As long as I enjoy performing I'm gonna keep doing it. But not as a director, 'cause I think it's too much work and I respect it too much.'
Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo is now on general release and is reviewed opposite