Don't Let The Cyber-Bullies Grind You Down

Now more than ever, social media is an everyday part of people’s lives, particularly teens and young adults. We live in an age where it is possible to keep in touch with anyone and everyone via the internet, with family and friends, colleagues and connections being constantly, almost immediately accessible.

Wonderful and all as this communications revolution has been in so many ways, this ongoing accessibility leaves individuals vulnerable to a specific breed of less appealing internet users who, it frequently seems, are interested only in harassment and ‘trolling’ – which, for the uninitiated, means posting inflammatory, insulting or degrading comments about someone online, often entirely irrespective of whether they are true or not.
Just as in secondary school, bullying is rife within third-level education. It may or may not be as utterly blatant as a scrap behind the school shed at 4pm. Nonetheless, it’s there, particularly online. As we become more dependent on social media sites for our ‘human’ interaction, we come into contact with people who we know personally, people we’re acquainted with and people we don’t know at all. In this environment, a lot of us ignore jibes or insults via social media sites, or we shrug it off, thinking it’s not something that should taken too seriously. Unfortunately, however, this is exactly the attitude that can lead to thiings getting out of hand.
My personal experience of internet bullying occurred when a classmate, who had received some criticism for a flaky, ill-informed article he had written, decided – without any foundation whatsoever – that I was the person behind an online ‘trolling’ incident regarding the article.
It wasn’t the worst kind of bullying, by any stretch of the imagination, but in a way it was a textbook example of what the anonymous nature of a lot of comment on the internet, and the freedom to abuse others – whether under aliases or not – that people assume in the virtual world, can
lead to.

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He based his assumptions on the fact that a comment I posted on the website, beneath his article, had the same IP address as the person guilty of trolling. He then decided to publish a lengthy diatribe on Facebook for everyone to see, which accused me of being the one responsible and was completely defamatory in what it said about me.
It is impossible to overstate how upsetting this sort of thing can be. I was thrown into a spin. But what could I do? Some people’s instinct is to hit back online in some shape or form, upping the ante and turning the whole thing into a mud-slinging contest that plunges everyone deeper into the mire of unpleasantness.
Luckily, I retained a clear head. I took a screen-grab of the accusation and saved it. I contacted my course director and informed him that if it wasn’t removed and I didn’t receive an apology as public as the accusation, I would officially report the culprit. In due course, the defamation was removed and the apology forthcoming. I was left pondering: if I’d had to see it through, to what authority would I have complained? And how would I have gone about it? The truth is that I had no idea what the procedure was regarding internet bullying.
“There is no exact policy in relation to social media bullying,” Cathal Ronan, Deputy President and Welfare Officer for the University of Limerick Students’ Union, explains. “However, bullying of any other member of the campus community is a major offence in the university, so fundamentally cyber-bullying falls under this. What happens is a complaint is made to the UL advocate who then meets with the person who has allegedly committed the offence. The advocate attempts to resolve the issue before the case goes in front of the discipline committee.
“The advocate in a sense acts as a ‘clearing house’ for complaints. The advocate essentially has three choices after meeting with the accused. He can either consider the complaint to be without merit — i.e. there’s no need for further action — or think the complaint is suitable for a voluntary agreement: this is when the student owns up to doing so and accepts a lesser punishment than if it went to the discipline committee.”
And are there sanctions?
“The punishment could be in the form of a fine,” he says, “or could be as severe as academic probation, depending on the severity of the case. The third option is referral to the major offences committee, which could result in the student being suspended for the year, or expulsion.”
Now, my own experience of internet bullying, however distressing and upsetting, pales by comparison with the suffering felt by someone who is the victim of systematic and sustained bullying. Whatever psychological factors come into play, the extent of bombardment of hostile messages, snide comments and often vile aggression on message boards, on Facebook, in texts and so on often beggars belief. These attacks can be about sexual orientation, or skin colour, or social status, or taste in music, or dress sense, or anything else that might mark an individual out as an easy target.
So what we have to remember always is that abuse of any kind is abuse, and there is no reason why anyone should have to put up with it.
Some victims are terrified of escalating the situation by reporting it – thereby being seen to ‘snitch’ on their tormentors and potentially inviting even worse reprisals. The reality, however, is that schools and colleges take this kind of behaviour very seriously, and are increasingly disinclined to tolerate it. Neither should you.

emotional torment
Whether you go to UCC, UL, DIT or anywhere else to pursue a third level education, there will be a welfare officer in place who deals with areas such as bullying, sexual harassment, unfair treatment from lecturers and so on. Although there isn’t any policy that deals specifically with internet bullying in the University I attended, there is a dignity and respect policy in place, which covers every member of the university, including staff.
For those arriving in college, it is worth saying that your first resolve should be to give other people, whether students or staff, the respect that they deserve from you. If you have been thoughtless, provocative or insulting in your own activities online, on Facebook, on Twitter or in other fora in the past, then this is as good an opportuity as you’ll get to grow up and leave what is a deeply unpleasant habit behind.
It is also worth saying that while you can limit access to your Facebook page to friends, that is no guarantee that what you do or say there is private. People can screen grab it, copy it, pass it on or repeat it – and so in all sorts of ways, your profile has the potential to haunt you. Indeed, it is well known that potential employers increasingly look at social media – and in a world of technology, buffs can pass through walls to do so – before they take someone on.
Similarly, everything you do on Twitter is in the public domain. In the light of which, it is a very good idea not to start putting stuff out there if you are ‘on the tear’ or otherwise less than fully in control of your thoughts and emotions.
The number of people being exposed as liars because they have left a trail behind them of Twitter comments, from which their progress on a drunken night can be followed step by step, is legion. In that scenario, there can be no hiding place if you don’t show up for classes, are late with an assignment or let your colleagues down on a group project. So the watchword is: try to be considered, intelligent and respectful of others in what you do at all times. And, as a by the way, it might be a good idea to spend less time in the virtual world and to use your time constructively – whether on creative work or just helping others. There are people in need – people with genuine problems – and not enough people to help in getting them through it. Being part of the solution is far better than being lost in a selfish little bubble of your own.
Either way, everybody has the right to make their way through college without having to deal with negativity or emotional torment, so observe an etiquette of fairness and concern for your fellow students at all times. And if you become the victim of someone else’s maliciousness, the welfare officer, your course director and your head of department are all people you should be able to turn to if you feel you have been targeted. It is their duty to assist you in any way possible. If it gets to the point where you need to go through official channels where a complaint is lodged, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Speak to your welfare officer first and be prepared to take advice, as long as you believe that it is given with your well-being in mind. Either way, the welfare officer will guide you through the steps you need to take, in order to get the result you want — and, crucially, should do so in such a way as to rock the boat as little as possible.
The message is clear. Do not engage in internet abuse of any kind whatsoever; be aware of your rights; do not tolerate abuse or bullying by anyone else, online or off; and remember that there is no need to feel that you are alone. The people are in place to help you to deal with the problem if it occurs. You can count on support when you need it. Which is only as it should be...