Memories of the way we wooooaaargh!

Where did you first meet Dee Dee Ramone and what’s your favourite memory of him?

::: Gary Ayres, Cambridge

The London Roundhouse in 1977. It was the first time The Ramones had played England and, like everyone else in the audience, I was blown away. People go on about Motörhead being a heavy metal band, but we had far more in common with The Ramones than we do with, I dunno, Cradle Of Filth. My first memory was seeing him again after he’d been down and come back ‘cause he’d been down a long way. The last time I saw him was six months ago at our London show. He looked pretty good to be honest with you, but unfortunately it didn’t last. Him and Joey going within a year of each other, it’s terribly sad, man. Black fucking days for rock ‘n’ roll.

Did you really write a map out for my mates Max Hamilton and Alex Martin showing the best strip joints in Los Angeles? If not, where should I go for a quality eyeful when I’m over there next?

::: Simon Baillie, Rathmines.

Yeah, it was at The Rainbow and they were drinking these mad tequila cocktails. As a regular frequenter, I can recommend both Crazy Girls on Sunset & La Brea and Cheetahs on Hollywood for firm young breasts.

How’s your hearing?

::: Karen Beacher

Pardon? No, I’ve managed to avoid tinnitus so far. I know some bands wear earplugs, but that’s for sissies. You can’t expect the audience to do something that you’re not willing to undergo yourself.

What inspires you and relaxes you?

::: Karen Beacher

Sexual conjunction relaxes me, but only afterwards. What inspires me is the during part. While we’re on the subject, I’d like to tell hotpress readers what a wonderful invention Viagra is. I’ve cut down to a half, though, ‘cause a whole one leaves your dick raw.

Did you really spend four hours trying – and failing – to teach Sid Vicious to play bass?

::: Iarla O’Halloran

I spent a couple of days, actually, giving him lessons in a squat off the Fulham Road but he was still hopeless. Mind you, you get impatient trying to teach somebody something that you can do standing on your head. I’m not patient enough to be a teacher and Sid, bless him, didn’t have the aptitude to be a pupil. He showed far more promise as a singer but, unfortunately, he met Nancy and that was his death warrant signed. A pain in the fucking ass, that woman.

Have you heard Jeff Buckley’s live cover version of ‘Ace Of Spades’. Talk about extremes of vocal range!

::: Iarla O’Halloran

Who’s he? Oh right, Tim Buckley’s son. He was OK, though not as good as the other Tim, Tim Hardin. Most the covers of our songs – particularly CCN’s dance remix of ‘Ace Of Spades’ – have been shit. There was a tribute album by a load of Swedish bands that was quite good, and a punky one, Deaf Forever, which I didn’t mind.

Would you ever consider taking part in a full-scale Hawkwind reunion. If not, why not?

::: Paul Daly, Clones

We actually did it last year at The Brixton Academy and it was fucking awful. I’ll give you two examples why. They brought Dik Mik from Morocco and Del Dettmar from Canada and when they went on stage their shit wasn’t plugged in. That’s good, isn’t it? Dave Brock then proceeded to ruin one of our biggest songs, ‘Masters Of The Universe’, by bringing Samantha Fox on to sing. The idea being that it would piss Nik Turner off. I can’t be having with that sort of shit.

What are your views on the IRA and Sinn Fein?

::: Flipper Cobain

Anybody that bombs department stores at Christmas isn’t really after a political thing. They’re just bombing people for the sake of it. It’s become more of a tradition than a fight now. There are people who’ve been in the IRA all their lives and that’s what they do.

When did you last vote and who was it for?

::: Michelle Cahill, Kilkenny

I’ve never voted ’cause they’re all cunts. Every single one of them including Sinn Fein. Tony Blair, George Bush, Gerry Adams, that Ian Paisley geezer…they’re all fucking arseholes.

What was it like working with Dave Grohl on the probot song ‘Shake Your Blood’?

::: Aidy Dunlop

Excellent. He doesn’t fuck around that bloke, which is what you want when you’re doing collaboration. I’ve no idea what “a probot” is, but we did it six or seven months ago in a couple of takes. It’s a shame Kurt couldn’t join us but, like Dee Dee, he succumbed to the worst kind of rock ’n’ roll cliché.

Where do you stand on the Golden Jubilee?

::: Niamh Purcell, Ballinsaloe

I’m a Royal Family fan. I’ve been living in America now for 11 years and, I tell you what, it’s a fuck sight better than having a president. The Queen’s actually quite shaggable for a woman of her age. You’d probably have to follow some sort of special protocol, but if the chance arose I’d be in there like a shot. The other thing I like about the monarchy is the history and the pageantry. When Ronald Reagan pops his clogs, he won’t get half the send-off the Queen Mum did.

What’s the most preposterous band you’ve ever seen? My nominations are Thor and Dumpy’s Rusty Nuts.

::: Skag Martin, Liverpool

No, Rock Bitch. They’re astounding. Half way through the show, the bass-player pisses in this other’s chick’s mouth. Memo to self: “Have Rock Bitch as opening act on next Motörhead tour.”

What do you think about Ozzy’s new found fame and would you consider doing a reality TV show?

::: Dave Hand

Seeing as I live on me own and don’t have anyone to interact with, it’d be pretty boring! If there was a market for people watching me play video games all day then, yeah, I’d consider it. There’s a tank one called Wild Metal that I’d wholeheartedly recommend. As for Ozzy, I’ve no problems with the TV but what’s all this hanging out with George Bush?

Who would you pay €100 to see live?

::: Killian Doyle, Tullamore

Fuck a hundred, I’d pay a thousand to see The Beatles again. I grew up in North Wales, so it was only 60 miles up the road to The Cavern. I’d by lying if I said I knew they were going to be the biggest band ever, but they were certainly special. Two other places I saw ’em were Llandudno Odeon and the Winter Gardens in Rhyl.

When did you first realise that those moles would be a trademark, and did you ever consider getting them removed?

::: Dave Hand

Yeah, I’m thinking about getting them removed right now. It’s all very well saying “trademark” but you don’t have to shave around the fucking things every day! Not only are they not very pretty but they’re getting larger.

Your favourite memory of road crewing with Jimi Hendrix?

::: Pete McDonnell, Tallaght

Apart from seeing him every night, you mean? Jamming at rehearsal with him one day when Noel Redding didn’t show up. He wasn’t half a clever boy. He had total control of feedback, his instrument and the women who he got through at a ferocious pace. I tried to figure out how he did it, but there was no way you could tell. Jimi wasn’t the sort of guy you really socialised with, but I knew Noel very well on account of us sharing a flat. When I say share, he allowed me to kip on the floor for a bit. I was going to try out for the bass player’s job when Billy Cox flew home with a nervous breakdown but then Hendrix died that day, so too bad.

I was horrified to hear about the theft of your favourite hat. What’s your opinion of the thief and is there any likelihood of it being returned?

::: Kathleen McCabe

Well, I’d like to get a hold of him! It was stolen from the dressing-room after our San Francisco show, so it was some cunt we’d invited in and given a beer to. That’s the worst part, the betrayal of trust. I got it a couple of years ago on the Nashville Pussy tour and became rather attached to it.

What Motörhead song do you most enjoy playing live?

::: Twiggy Young

It changes every week but, at the moment, ‘Going To Brazil’ and ‘Bomber’. One that we’ve exhumed recently and I absolutely love is ‘Doctor Rock’ from Orgasmatron. As for my favourite albums, I’d go – in no particular order – for Sacrifice, We Are Motörhead and the new one, Hammered.

Do you ever get hangovers?

::: Crowbar, Dublin

To get a hangover you have to stop drinking! Sobriety is a concept I understand but rarely experience. Handily enough, when my alcohol level does dip, I don’t get hangovers.

Is your White Line Fever autobiography ever going to see the light of day?

::: Crowbar, Dublin

Yeah, later this year. I’m not a kiss-and-tell person but it is very honest and, in parts, very funny. The bits I couldn’t remember I asked other people, who were more compes mentis at the time, about. There were a couple of things that even I was shocked to discover! If they get round to filming it, I’m insisting on Jack Nicholson as the adult me.

Is the Motörhead line-up with Fast Eddie and Philthy the best one, and where are they today?

::: Joe Shooman, Liverpool

No, just the most successful. The people who say that are the ones who were 16 at the time and suffering from a severe case of nostalgia. We’re definitely as good a band now as we were then, perhaps better. As for where they are now, Eddie’s living in England and came along to our 25 Year show in Brixton, and Phil’s living illegally in Hawaii. Hence his non-appearance at that gig.

Why did you act like such a prick and storm off stage at the Dalymount gig in 1983? I’ve always loved Motörhead but that day you were out of order.

::: Smiley M

Well, the audience fucking stood there like they were paralyzed retards. I like a bit of encouragement from the crowd, which wasn’t forthcoming on the day. We gave it our best shot only to be met by a wall of indifference. What do you expect when you’re supporting a bastardised version of Black Sabbath fronted by Ian Gillan? Happily the reaction was a million times better last year when we played Vicar St. Good show that.