Nudes Of The World
How the Sunday Independent is boosting the tourism industry by convincing English readers that Ireland is populated exclusively by amiable drunkards, rock stars, men who drive fast cars and women wearing little or no clothing.
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Latest Articles by Barry Glendenning
Despite the sell-out success of the Monster tour and a shelf-load of awards for Black Books, Dylan Moran remains as steadfastly gloomy as ever about the art of stand-up comedy. “You’re standing there pandering to a couple of hundred swivel-eyed, maroon-faced, braying fucks,” he groans to Barry Glendenning.
14 Dec 2004
For the final installment of London Calling, Barry Glendenning felt it would be appropriate to compose an emotional, heartfelt farewell to his legions of loyal readers. Sadly, he never got around to it and sent us the following copy instead.
29 Oct 2004
Beer, profanity and last-gasp English defeats...cricket has it all!
18 Oct 2004
Barry Glendenning offers some tips to students about to become acquainted with the weird and wonderful world of tertiary education for the first time.
04 Oct 2004
Or maybe not. Barry Glendenning on why press reaction to the Irishman’s stint as the BBC’s Olympics anchor was just ever so slightly guilty of silly season sensationalism.
21 Sep 2004
With the Frenchman who came for two years gone after six months, our weary London correspondent is forced to search for yet another new flatmate.
06 Sep 2004 - London Calling
Back home for the Galway races, our correspondent encounters a staggering product of ladies’ day.
23 Aug 2004 - London Calling
The customer who came in from the cold.
09 Aug 2004 - London Calling
As well as improving his word power, the admirable Reader’s Digest gives Barry Glendenning some indigestible food for thought about the place of Ireland in europe
23 Jul 2004 - London Calling
Barry Glendenning fearfully contemplates the ultimate real-life disaster movie
13 Jul 2004 - London Calling
Although his own isn’t speaking fluently at the moment, Barry Glendenning is captivated by a refresher course in body language.
11 Jun 2004 - Interview
So Michael Parkinson never settles for second-best...then what were all these people doing on his show, asks Barry Glendenning?
02 Jun 2004 - London Calling
So Michael Parkinson never settles for second-best...then what were all these people doing on his show, asks Barry Glendenning?
01 Jun 2004 - London Calling
Home thoughts from abroad on John Deasy and two kinds of week.
12 May 2004 - London Calling
Barry Glendenning delights in the story of how the Irish rioted in Camden when legendary crooner Jim Reeves cancelled a show
30 Apr 2004 - London Calling
Devastated by the smoking ban’s blow to the image of the fun-loving Irish, Barry Glendenning’s spirits re- lifted by Jonathan Ross
14 Apr 2004 - London Calling
Barry Glendenning ponders whether the gee-gees are fixed and why a top jockey is being sponsored by JCB
25 Mar 2004 - London Calling
In which your correspondent receives a surprisingly courteous reply to his recent devastating broadside against Metro Life magazine. Kind of.
22 Mar 2004 - London Calling
Journalist Brendan O’Connor’s take on the Paul Mcgrath “thing” gets the red card.
02 Mar 2004 - London Calling
In which your correspondent learns that he has been unwittingly residing in the UK’s most culturally sophisticated borough.
19 Feb 2004 - London Calling
Tony Blair may dream of a Downing Street full of women volleyball players, but do we really want Chas ’n’ Dave at the Olympics opening ceremony? Especially when the samba girls of Rio are waiting in the wings.
04 Feb 2004 - London Calling
Barry Glendenning is ever so slightly annoyed with the prices in Dublin pubs, and the look of a drinks trolley on his Ryanair flight home.
23 Jan 2004 - London Calling
Thought that’d grab your attention!Barry Glendenning on what made the headlines in his uneventful world in 2003.
06 Jan 2004 - London Calling
Despite the resolutely Irish blood coursing through his veins, Barry Glendenning nonetheless committed the heretical gesture of celebrating with the blighty faithful following England’s world cup win. Read on for the full shocking details…
05 Dec 2003 - London Calling
It’s amazing what you can get these days for the price of a pint of stella! A freeloading Barry Glendenning celebrates the arrival of his dinky new computer.
03 Dec 2003 - London Calling
It’s amazing what you can get these days for the price of a pint of stella! A freeloading Barry Glendenning celebrates the arrival of his dinky new computer.
03 Dec 2003 - London Calling
In a world of bus fetishists and ex-nuns seeking well-endowed men for ecclesiastical romps, there is really no excuse for sleeping alone.
19 Nov 2003 - London Calling
Our columnist discovers he’s “a homophobic Irish bogman”. but, to his huge relief, not a racist. whew.
05 Nov 2003 - London Calling
Three-in-a-bed romps! drunken footballers on the rampage! and they’re just the questions! however, given that the interviewee is Ireland’s most beloved player Damien Duff you won’t be surprised to learn that the answers are rather more down to earth – including why, with hindsight, he can now chuckle at being on the inside track for the Roy Keane saga in Saipan. “I’m just a big kid at heart,” he tells Barry Glendenning, as he prepares to play a man’s role in Ireland’s crunch game against Switzerland
09 Oct 2003 - Interview
Inspired by Michael Martin and Bill Hicks, Barry Glendenning attempts to give up smoking.
08 Oct 2003 - London Calling
David Blaine's next trick involves being suspended in a locked box over London and......NOT escaping.
23 Sep 2003 - London Calling
How no academic background in Journalism led our columnist to the peak of “handbags” with Thom Yorke.
10 Sep 2003 - London Calling
Sound advice for our Damien to help him survive the big smoke.
26 Aug 2003 - London Calling
The dangers of judging a book by its cover and the one thing worse than Big Brother – the attempted Irish Big Brother vote rigging.
07 Aug 2003 - London Calling
Foxes in sarf London and alligator wrestling on the box – Barry Glendenning comes over all David Attenborough (if that’s not too revolting an image)
24 Jul 2003 - London Calling
Sports correspondent Barry Glendenning reports on exciting new developments in cricket and enjoys a day at the races – purely with the intention of, er, studying the field, of course
15 Jul 2003 - London Calling
Where have all the Fleadhs gone? Barry Glendenning mourns the passing of the annual London drinkathon and wonders if Morrissey might have saved it
30 Jun 2003 - London Calling
Barry Glendenning on the extreme lengths he is going to, in the (vain) hope of avoiding contact with Big Brother
17 Jun 2003 - London Calling
Well, a bloke actually. Barry Glendenning offers a considered solution to Ireland’s drink problem: halve the price of gargle, legalise dope and ship all the youth off to Slovenia
04 Jun 2003 - London Calling
Your correspondent wistfully reflects on an all-too-brief encounter with a glamorous actress.
20 May 2003 - London Calling
If you want to keep your wedding private, it might help not to flog the pictures to the highest bidder
06 May 2003 - London Calling
And you thought Asian ’flu was bad. Barry Glendenning examines the debilitating disease that’s rife among war correspondents
22 Apr 2003 - London Calling
An open letter to the Birr senior hurling team.
08 Apr 2003 - London Calling
Why junk e-mail is the cyber equivalent of a sharp blow to the forehead.
25 Mar 2003 - London Calling
In which your correspondent strongly retracts previously stated praise for the London underground, and celebrates the cavalier approach of the irrepressible Birr hurlers.
11 Mar 2003 - London Calling
Lovely former Longpigs frontman and occasional Pulp guitarist Richard Hawley talks solo albums, Sheffield sauces and swears a lot, before offering a world exclusive on Robbie Williams. Sort of.
05 Mar 2003 - Interview
In the media wilderness, certain maverick voices can be depended upon to speak the truth. Also, the agonising decision faced by the FA’s dubious goals committee.
25 Feb 2003 - London Calling
Like good intentions, new year’s resolutions are a sure-fire way to end up fat, drunk, asthmatic and happy.
28 Jan 2003 - London Calling
Barry Glendenning argues that if talent and morality were a prerequisite for being on TV, our screens would have been blank in 2002
14 Jan 2003 - London Calling
Is poet Pat Ingoldsby the greatest Irish person of all time? Our columnist makes the case
17 Dec 2002 - Interview
Ulrika Jonsson's autobiography details her affair with england manager sven goran eriksson, yet he's maintaining a dignified silence
04 Nov 2002 - London Calling
An Irish football legend shoots from the hip: the highs and lows of the World Cup, the pain in the ass of being 'Saint Niall', the reason players get fed-up with the FAI, why Kevin Kilbane would make a good husband, and where to now for Mick McCarthy, Roy Keane and Ireland after that disastrous start to the European Championship.
30 Oct 2002 - Interview
With Peter Reid gone, can Mick McCarthy be too far behind? Niall Quinn speculates
30 Oct 2002 - Interview
While Irish TV comedy remains a joke, Britain’s current crop of sit-coms are among the finest ever produced
22 Oct 2002 - London Calling
Nigella Lawson’s cookery programmes deserve to be judged on less whimsical criteria than rump size – it says here
08 Oct 2002 - Interview
Despite overwhelming evidence in support of the view, it is apparently now a criminal offence to call a certain columnist's favourite football team "shite"
24 Sep 2002 - Interview
Our columnist presents a selection of teasers from his forthcoming tome. The serialisation war starts here
10 Sep 2002 - London Calling
Exploring the mystery of how one human being can survive being thrown from a horse with barely a scratch while another is near death after a quiet drink in a country pub
27 Aug 2002 - London Calling
our columnist is once again busy doing something close to nuthin’
13 Aug 2002 - London Calling
A politically incorrect, almost certainly sex-obsessed non-leftie answers the magazine's critics
30 Jul 2002 - London Calling
The Hot Press offices have seen more riding than John McCrickrick, but nobody’s talking
02 Jul 2002 - Interview
The Hot Press offices have seen more riding than John McCrickrick, but nobody’s talking
02 Jul 2002 - Interview
How a trip to the swimming pool can land you in deep trouble
18 Jun 2002 - London Calling
HOTPRESS meets John ‘Ozzy’ Osbourne the legendary rock ‘n’ roller turned “fucking demi-god” by the success of his reality TV series The Osbournes
17 Jun 2002 - Interview
"You must be Barry," she said, visibly quivering...
21 May 2002 - London Calling
What's Princess Margaret getting for Christmas? The Queen Mum, obviously
23 Apr 2002 - London Calling
Our columnist attempts to do his bit for marital bliss
09 Apr 2002 - London Calling
The Dublin-born editor of Marie Claire, one of the world's most successful magazines, answers to charges that her title promotes hypocrisy, air-headedness, sexism and sycophancy. remarkably, she doesn't throw troublesome Hotpress out of her office
22 Mar 2002 - Interview
Barry Glendenning - and his mate Hamish - tough it out in the face of overwhelming adversity
12 Mar 2002 - London Calling
Just some enlightening answers from our man who knows everything
12 Feb 2002 - London Calling
An homage to spoofers, bluffers, fakes and frauds Guess what? Even Santa isn’t real, kids!
06 Dec 2001 - Comedy
You may be surprised to learn that Harry Potter doesn’t give an entirely accurate impression of life in a boarding school
29 Nov 2001 - London Calling
How mainstream journalists discovered (quasi-legal) dope
08 Nov 2001 - London Calling
Watching a New Order performance is more of a pleasure than writing about one.
25 Oct 2001 - REVIEW
In which BARRY GLENDENNING gets a few things off what passes for his chest
25 Oct 2001 - London Calling
Our genial columnist goes on the radio with Ryan and to the races with mum and dad
11 Oct 2001 - London Calling
BARRY GLENDENNING talks to MERCURY REV about darkness, deserters and dreams
27 Sep 2001 - Interview
Dear beautiful women everywhere,
13 Sep 2001 - London Calling
BARRY GLENDENNING hears about SKINDIVE’s 12 steps out of “the shit”
02 Aug 2001 - Interview
It’s one thing to have a go at Jeffrey Archer for lying but why are they damning Austin Healey for telling the truth?
02 Aug 2001 - London Calling
Are you rad, a cad, sad, mad or just like your dad? No, really.
21 Jun 2001 - London Calling
The mobile phoneless BARRY GLENDENNING is singularly unimpressed by the joy of text
21 Jun 2001 - Commentary
Why the celebrity circuit isn’t all it’s cracked up to be
07 Jun 2001 - London Calling
In which our gigging columnist joins top aussie comedian BRENDON BURNS on an eventful journey to the deep south
24 May 2001 - London Calling
BARRY GLENDENNING offers a helpful guide to e-mail etiquette
24 May 2001 - Commentary
Black, dark, twisted, perverse, politically incorrect, macabre, obscene, profane, disturbing, gothic… and, oh yes, hilariously funny. Barry Glendenning meets the League of Gentlemen, the unlikely stars of radio, stage and screen who may well be coming to a theatre near you
10 May 2001 - Comedy
In which our correspondent finally goes completely cuckoo
10 May 2001 - London Calling
MUNDY The Borderline, London Standing centre stage before a throng comprised of an astonishing number of nubile young rock chicks and their “how-the-fuck-did-that-nerd-pull-her” boyfriends in the smoky bowels of Time Out magazine’s current live music venue of the year, Mundy radiates a hitherto unseen confidence.
26 Apr 2001 - REVIEW
Few London experiences are as traumatic as ordering a pint
26 Apr 2001 - London Calling
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