Lamentable even by the undistinguished standards of the cheapo-horror genre at its worst, Darkness Falls at least marks something of a deprature from recent precedent in that it doesn’t remotely aim for an ironic or self-referential tone. The good news ends there: Darkness Falls is a truly ludicrous and suspense-free yarn in which unknowns Chaney Kley and Emma Caulfield strive their hardest to stay that way, pursued by the spectacularly unintimidating ‘Tooth Fairy’, a clothes-horse on a string which is only active in the dark.

The premise, though uninspired, could at least have served as the basis for a mildly diverting enterprise, but there’s just nothing by way of drama or suspense on offer, while even the guts-and-gore quotient falls far short of what genre devotees have a right to expect. On all counts, this truly is a criminally miserable waste of time, funding and cinema space.