Twelve Months, Eleven Days

KNOCK, KNOCK. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Exactly.

It’s an old joke, but it still rings kinda true. It’s hard to believe now, but not too long ago the entire record industry seemed to think Barlow would be the only member of Take That to emulate that boy band’s success as a solo artist. He’d gone in at number one with his first solo single, and Robbie Williams had released the truly awful ‘Freedom’ as his opening salvo.

How quickly fortunes change. As Williams’ career shot upwards in spectacular fashion, Barlow’s took an equally spectacular nosedive. He was ditched by the kids – my eleven-year-old daughter says “he’s soooo old-fashioned” – and ignored by the grown-ups he’d so dearly hoped would embrace him as the next George Michael or Elton John.

Old before his time, and devoid of image and direction, not to mention a decent voice, all that pop’s answer to Steve ‘Interesting’ Davis had to offer was his songwriting ability. But on the evidence of Twelve Months, Eleven Days (so titled, I guess, because it seems to take that long to listen to it), even this remnant of old glories has vanished without trace.

At least Gary will be able to impress his grandchildren by telling them he used to be in a band with Robbie Williams.