Nothing But The Beat

When no-one was looking, David Guetta silently took over pop music. Having spent the best part of 15 years as a journeyman French DJ with a penchant for flash clobber, he started putting out chart-toppers like ‘When Love Takes Over’ (with Kelly Rowland) and ‘Sexy Bitch’. His bloodless coup was completed in 2009 when he produced ‘I Gotta Feelin’ for The Black Eyed Peas.
With Nothing But The Beat In short, these tunes have everything that rocks today’s teenager. Glittering examples include ‘Where Them Girls At’ (with Flo Rida and Nicki Minaj), ‘Little Bad Girl’ (with Taio Cruz) and ‘Crank It Up’ (with Akon), all of which are cool in the way only confident, unashamed pop music can be. Guetta bares his teeth to the hipster haters on ‘I Just Wanna Fuck’ (with Timbaland), slicing up beats and stuttering vocal samples as ably as Major Lazer, in the process boxing the ears of any Ed Banger whippersnapper.

There are also, it has to be said, some prime turkeys. Top of the list is ‘Sweat’, featuring a very guilty-sounding Snoop Dogg, mumbling over a backing track which samples Felix’s rave classic ‘Don’t You Want Me?’ on what sounds like an iPhone app from Tesco. ‘Repeat’ sees Jessie J doing her best Beyoncé impression in front of the bedroom mirror and – biggest crime of all – a genuine talent, Usher has his gossamer vocals prittsticked to the most God-awful plodder of a tune, ‘Without U’. A second disc of instrumentals is utterly superfluous.
Ultimately, however, resistance is pointless. Like him, hate him – you’ll never change him. David Guetta and his monster hits are here to stay.