- Culture
- 16 Feb 04
Gerry Mallon on touring with Tommy Tiernan, and the best of the rest in Irish comedy.
Haw haw, Germany calling, greetings from the edge or to be more precise, a chilly dressingroom somewhere in Ireland. I’m in the middle of a tour with the box office runaway juggernaut that is Tommy Tiernan. It makes me sick when you see the sheer talent of the man up close every night, throwing out witty aphorisms and killer lines that he night not ever use again . Of course he has paid a high psychic price for his genius as off stage he’s about as much fun as testicular cancer (go Dessie B).
Apparently he was given a lifetime’s supply of ‘No craic’ tokens by a Buddhist monk from Longford a few years ago and is determined to cash in every one of them.
The first thing I do on the tour when we hit a new town or city is check to see if there is a branch of ‘sidekicksorus’ there, to see if I can rent a good wingman for the aftershow parties. Whilst I am out every night drowning in a sea of Buckfast doing the whiteman shuffle in nightclubs with names like Piewrecks and Muffjuice, trying desperately to wangle my way into some local young wan’s knickers, Tommy is safely ensconced back in his hotel room drinking extract of hawthorn tea, planning his strategy for world domination. Besides doing the support slot at these shows I’m also the official tour manager and we have a unique set up in that it is possibly the only touring show in the world where the artist has to look after the tour manager.
I’m looking forward to getting back to lovely Galway and in particular to my own little baby, The Comedy Club at Bar Cuba, where I’m the resident compere. I freely admit that I am probably the worst MC in Ireland as usually I have the audience whipped up into a frenzy of inertia before bringing on the various acts - yet somehow it works. The club is the only full time comedy club in the country that brings in all the big overseas acts on a regular basis (take that Dublin and shove it up your arse). So bitter, so twisted, but so fucking right.
So anyway, who are my Irish comedy heroes ? Well, in no particular order, David McSavage has the soul of a Latvian hooker and a beautiful wife. Karl Spain is always worth seeing and could be huge if he didn’t spend so much time indoors watching Belgian porno movies. Brian Coughlan in Cork deserves a mention for the stoic work he did in the fledgling early days. Michael Mee is probably the sharpest dresser on the circuit but if you go see him don’t laugh too loudly as he is allergic to… erm… everything. Paddy Courtney is kinda cool for someone who graduated from the Brendan O’Carroll finishing school and Bernard O’Shea is one of the most exciting of the new breed – pity though he’s a ginge and he’s from Laois which doesn’t bode well for anyone’s career advancement. Of the fairer sex ,Sandra Murphy is showing some promise and also has one of the cutest asses in the business, Anne Gildea is very good and you could put your communion money on the lovely Deirdre O’Kane. OK gotta go on stage now and warm these bastards up for Tierno, then head out into the night and no doubt walk home on my own…again…
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Gerry Mallon is on tour around the country with Tommy Tiernan and is resident compere at the Comedy Club in bar Cuba, Galway