Christmas: A Time For Robbery

Not to mention self-pleasuring. Plus: a very good joke that you can tell at the Christmas parties and pretend it’s your own...

Eamonn McCann, 11 Dec 2009

Xmas is coming to Bethlehem, and so are 40,000 Zionist thieves. The Hebrew-language daily Ma’ariv reports that the Israeli Ministry of the Interior has approved the construction of 14,000 housing units on three square kilometres of Palestinian land at the edge of the town. This would be the biggest single seizure of Palestinian land since 1967.

The land on which it’s proposed to build is owned by Palestinians in the Bethlehem suburb of Al-Walaja, already hemmed in by the settlements of Gilo and Gush Etzion.

Ma’ariv says that the project enjoys the full support of the Government of Binymin Netanyahu.

The planned settlement would be entirely illegal in international law. But, as per usual, there has been no outcry from what is laughably known as “the international community”, much less threats of sanctions or hints of military action.

The Israeli defence of the project is as breathtaking as ever in its brazenness. Many of the homes in Al-Walaja, says the Interior Ministry, were built without licences from the Israeli authorities. So they can legally be demolished and the families living in them tossed onto the roadside. Since their homes were unlicensed, they will be entitled to no compensation but may be charged for the cost of demolition.

Perhaps some of them will find mangers in stables to kip on.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one.

Woman out for a winter stroll along the banks of the Foyle sees a frog with a hind leg tangled in brambles. Ordinarily she might pass on. But it’s the season of peace and goodwill to all creatures. So she reaches down and frees the stricken amphibian. The frog says, “Thanks, Missus, for a while there I thought I was going to croak,” then offers her three Xmas wishes.

“Thing is”, cautions the frog, “everything you ask for, your husband will receive ten times over.”

“Fair enough”, she says. “I want to be the richest woman in Ireland.”

“But your husband will be 10 times richer... Still want to go ahead?”

“Fire away”, replies the woman. And it is done.

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