- Opinion
- 12 Mar 01
Hot Press Big Man Reveals His Little Man Live On Air!!!!!!! SExclusive: Olaf Tyaransen
hot press writer Stuart Clark, 35, caused outrage when he spoke openly about his PIERCED PENIS on Radio 1 s Fandango show last week. The station was flooded with thousands of calls from irate listeners as 29-year-old Clark boasted that he was holier than thou on the popular talk show, hosted by Ray Darcy and forthcoming Eurovision presenter Carrie Crowley.
I started off with the boring stuff first, the shameless 32-year-old hack told the listeners. My ears, nose, eyes and NIPPLE.
Then the shameless media whore dropped his depraved bombshell. Getting my dick done was like climbing a mountain, he said, casual as you like. I did it because it was there.
Next, oblivious to Ray Darcy s convulsions, the evil monster began talking about the pros and cons of having an extra hole in his helmet.
watersports
It gives me an extra inch to play around with, he told a shocked Carrie Crowley. But guys have to be careful if they re standing next to me at a pub urinal. If I don t get the water pressure just right I wind up with a dual spray. It goes left and right, all over the place.
The tawdry toilet tart then invited Ms. Crowley to tweak his nipple ring live on air. An RTE spokesperson has refused to confirm or deny whether she took him up on the offer.
needed friends
We made contact with Clark, 36, and asked him to explain his disgusting behaviour.
Basically, I did it because I needed the money, he said. I needed the work and I thought I might make some interesting new friends.
seen it before
However, none of his colleagues at the magazine seemed particularly shocked at Clark s raunchy revelations. We ve ALL seen Stuart s dick, said one source. He gets it out every year at the Christmas party.
Further investigations revealed that Stuart Clark has also previously displayed his disgusting donger on the Pet Lamb tour bus and at several church functions.
Stuart Clark has confirmed that he has no shame. I have no shame, the perverted 37-year-old told us.