Cliff Richard: “Healing Love” (EMI)

Strictly speaking this record is by a person by the name of Cliff, since he that was once the perfect boy to bring home to your parents has apparently thought it fit to drop his surname. Are we less easily fooled than Mr Richard thinks or is Cliff trying to tell us something?! God only knows (?) what kind of therapy is being proposed by Mr Christian Celibacy himself but for that very reason alone I deduce the following . . .

The ideal candidate for this well-crafted, cynical and thoroughly boring pop song could be no other than His Holiness, Pope John Paul II. I can’t think of anyone more deserving!

In return, His Polishness could leave a signed and bound copy, together with liner notes, of his own work of fiction Veritatis Splendor, from which tome Cliff could create the concept album to destroy all other concept albums. A frightening thought.