Your band has just signed its first record label and you’ve sold-out Whelan’s. So now that you’ve bled the home market dry, the only thing to do is to pack up your EPs in your old kit-bag and head across the pond. The good old U S of A is home to 300 million of your potential new biggest fans but it’s not all bright lights and bourbon. Get ready for months of ropey vans, broken strings and sticky hotel rooms. And Jesus Christ, don’t forget the tea-bags.

LET’S GET IT STARTED
First things first; you’ll need to get past airport security!
“The main thing when you’re going over to the States is to get the red tape sorted,” Seneca frontman Rob Hope tells me. “This comes in the form of the P1-B entertainment group visa, which you can get from www.dublin.usembassy.gov. To be allowed in you need a recognised sponsor such as a management company or a label based there to vouch for you. If they know you’re a band and you don’t have a P1-B, no amount of blagging or Irish charm is going to save you. Sometimes freighting over equipment costs more than the equipment itself, so think about renting when you get there, or go on sites like www.musiciansfriend.com where there’s loads of second-hand stuff for sale.”
Dudley Colley, the man behind tour veterans the Dudley Corporation, reckons the best way to do the US is to tag along with someone else and nab all their punters.
“Email American bands you like and say ‘Listen, is there any chance you’ve got a spare slot on an upcoming tour? We’ll make for cheap roadies.’ Chances are they’re in the same boat as you, and want to befriend an Irish band who can help them play here.’”

ON THE ROAD AGAIN
Jack Kerouac made it sound easy but this ain’t no weekend drive to Connemara.
“For Irish people, the driving is just obscene,” Colley winces. “On average, you’ll spend eight or nine hours a day in the van – and that’s for gigs which are considered ‘nearby’. Here that’s two laps of the country!”
Given the punishment your van’s going to be taking, Hope says it’s absoloutely essential to take out Triple A membership.
“I speak from bitter experience when I say you’re bound to break down in the middle of the desert at some stage!”

ALABAMA SONG
You may have came to America hoping to have your name emblazoned on a neon sign atop Caesar’s Palace, but you’ll be surprised how much that gig in Hicksville, Ohio will stand to you.
“Playing big cities like L.A., New York and Chicago is obviously fantastic,” Rob Hope resumes, “but the crowds in small towns tend to be a lot more appreciative and really look after you. And you’ll sell a lot of merch, which is hugely important in the States. Bring your t-shirt artwork over on a disc and get a batch made-up.”

SCRATCH MY BACK
“A great way of introducing yourselves to new fans and new markets,” Rob continues, “is to collaborate with local musicians. That’s a really big thing in the US, musicians kind of float from band to band and play with each other. If you’re in a city and you meet other musicians, staying with them is a great way of getting into those circles. There’s a website called www.betterthanthevan.com which is fantastic – if we know we’re playing in a particular city we go on there and there’s people offering up their houses to bands passing though.”

WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG?
We hate to do it, but it’s time for a dose of bitter reality.
“Plan for the fact that something will definitely go wrong” Colley stresses. “You should never go expecting to make money, pretty much be happy if you make it home with the shirt on your back. Like Mike Watt from the Minutemen used to say: ‘If you’re not playing, you’re paying!’”
Good Luck!

Seneca are currently on tour across the US. See www.myspace.com/bandseneca for dates. Their album, Sweeter Than Bourbon, is out now.
The Dudley Corporation’s Year Of The Husband is available on Absolutely Kosher Records. See www.myspace.com/thedudleycorporation for dates.