ME AND the boys are heading down to Central America for a couple of weeks. Nothing too taxing overthrow a democratically-elected President and replace him with this right-wing dictator bloke who s bunging us $500,000. If you want to come along for the ride, give us a shout.
Although Soldier Of Fortune s not quite that explicit, one gets the impression from their Classifieds that given a choice between a fun fortnight in Disneyland or Kosovo, most of their readers would be straight on to Air Yugoslavia.
Soldier Of Fortune focuses on news and first-hand reports from all over the world, their manifesto states. Our commitment to presenting the facts in their entirety sets us apart from mainstream news sources. Our editorial policy is pro-military, pro-strong US defence, pro-police, and pro-veteran. We strongly support the right of the individual to keep and bear arms. By opposing tyranny of all kinds, we support the basic freedom of mankind.
To assist professional adventurers in their, er, professional adventuring, SOF provides a monthly Sitrep guide to who s maiming who in such hotspots as Somalia, Honduras, Kashmir and the international mercenary s current favourite, Democratic Congo:
Under heavy diplomatic pressure, government agrees at summit to discuss elections with rebels. Zimbabwean MiG shot down at Kabolo. More government troops and civilians flee fighting into Zambia. Human rights groups say rebels slaughtered 200 civilians in South Kivu Province.
This appetite for destruction extends to their Reader s Flak page Michael A. Mott respectfully requesting details about the gentleman who holds the longest confirmed kill. I remember something about 5,000 yards.
One assumes that Mr. Mott already has bought his tickets bought for the Soldier Of Fortune 1999 Convention, Exposition and 3-Gun Tactical Match which takes place next month at Las Vegas Cashman Centre. Early bookers get a free 7 Neck Knife and complimentary admission to the Firepower Demo.
The survivalists among you will be able to stock up on such Y2K essentials as Machetes, Stun Guns and Pepper Defense Sprays, or talk to SOF s very own millennium bug specialist, Pratt N. Whitney.
You d be wrong, though, to think that Soldier Of Fortune is lacking in sensitivity. We re sure the parents of the Columbine dead will be greatly comforted by the August issue s special report on Thunder Ranch s take-no-POWs Urban Rifle Course a harrowing journey onto the turf of fast-moving prey, rapid target acquisition and weapon-retention techniques.
We re siding with Marilyn Manson on this one. n
Stuart Clark