‘Come dripping from my dick/ Fucking you to the core/ Can’t take this anymore/ My brain is driving me insane/ Eating the flesh of a thousand corpses/ Bloodsucking countless nuns/ Her guts were boiling out of her…’

Er, yes, we get the gist. That’s Mayhem, proving with ‘Necrolust’ (not the Jonas Brothers song of the same name), that whatever about tunes, the Devil definitely doesn’t have all the best lyrics.
The uneasy listening quartet are one of the bands who feature in Until The Light Takes Us, a new documentary about the notorious Norwegian black metal scene that’s doing the art house rounds this winter.
“Until The Light goes behind the sensationalist media reports of ‘Satanists running amok’ to examine the complex and largely misunderstood principles and beliefs that lead to this rebellion against both Christianity and modern culture,” reads the promo blurb, which then gleefully recounts the suicides, murders and church burnings that gained Mayhem and their corpsepaint-wearing chums such notoriety.
Antichrists or just very naughty boys? Find out at www.blackmetalmovie.com.
Definitely qualifying as the latter is Eric Cartman who, having channelled Michael Jackson’s spirit in a recent episode, this week treats South Park viewers to his version of Lady GaGa’s ‘Pokerface’. Quite what this has to do with Stan fighting Japanese whalers we’re not sure, but have a look at ccinsider.comedycentral.com/2009/10/29/cartman-covers-lady-gagas-poker-face.
Next we travel to www.cuteoverload.com, a repository of things that are far too cuddly and ickle for their own good. Despite its well-known bastardry, Caught In The Net couldn’t help but fall in love with the puddy cat who carries his mice mates around on his head.
Which just leaves time for visits to www.dirtytackle.net (ace footie website); www.lettersofnote.com (“correspondence deserving of a wider audience”); www.sexinchrist.com (God wasn’t such a spoilsport after all); www.beertarot.com/drunks.htm (Top Drunks card game); and www.stewiesplayground.com (My Morning Jacket guest on American Dad).