It goes without saying that Caught In The Net spurns Heat-style celebrity gossip like other people spurn rabid dogs, but we have to admit we’re rather taken with www.awfulplasticsurgery.com
“Aliens kidnapped Marie Osmond and stretched her face!” screams the homepage and, sure enough, something other-wordly appears to have happened to the toothsome Mormon’s boat race of late. The altogether less fun “Good Plastic Surgery” section includes pictures of Al Pacino’s brow lift which, curiously enough, appears to have turned him into hotpress’ very own Peter Murphy.
Sticking with matters medical and we’re disgusted that the Booker Prize people overlooked Dr. Martin Wank’s Sex, Freud & Folly: The Truth About Psychotherapy.
A seminal work in which the author demonstrates a firm grip of his subject – okay, we’ll stop there – you can order it online from www.tinyurl.com/j16c
Our fancy has also been tickled by the remarkable merchandise that’s available from www.daimaoh.kir.jp./ho/menssom.htm Never mind minataurised 3D home cinema wrist-watches, what our Japanese friends are really good at designing are varispeed plastic wanking hands.
Adam Ant one banana short of a bunch of Fyfe’s? The case for the prosecution mounts with the troubled singer recording a new version of ‘Stand & Deliver’, which he’s retitled ‘Save The Gorilla’.
“Save the gorilla, your money for their lives,” pleads the boy Goddard before emitting a volley of Simian-style grunts. Watch a video of him and Morrissey sidekick Boz Boorer recording this pop masterpiece at www.homepage.mac.com/dianfossey/iMovieTheater40.html
Which just leaves time for some reckless microwave oven experimentation (www.eskimo.com~billb/weird/microexp.html); rapid leg movements (www.thechapmagazine.com/Trousers/semaphore.
html); and exotic and frankly rather unpleasant diseases (www.path.upmc.edu/casemonth/ ap-casemonth.html); and small but perfectly formed rockers (www.matteblock.com/minikiss). b