Li-Ann Smal,
model

Have you ever looked around you and realised that you are the only person of colour in the room? If not, you are immensely privileged. That realisation can make you feel alone, like an outsider, like you don’t belong.

These people don’t have the same experience as me – are they ever scared to travel somewhere new in case they face racist abuse? Have they ever refrained from standing up for themselves or others, in case a slur is shouted at them? Being a woman of colour can add a whole new level to the ever-present, under-the-surface fear that most women have walking home alone at night.

In the same way, many males have not thought about this almost inherent fear that women have, many white people have not thought about the general anxiety that can exist in seemingly normal situations for people of colour. I urge you to try and think about what this could feel like. Put yourself in our shoes. What will ever make me Irish enough? The birthplace, the rearing, the friends, the craic, the education, the accent? Why is it that such a small facet of my whole being – my appearance – is the one that is picked up on, and that makes me decidedly un-Irish?

I am proud of my heritage, of my parents and my ancestors. It sometimes feels like Ireland will never be proud of me, but I am also proud of being Irish.

Read Part 1 of 100 Voices: #AllAgainstRacism, in the current issue of Hot Press. Available to pick up in shops now, or to order online below:

Special thanks to the Irish Human Rights and Equality Commission for their support in this project.