“What do you want?”

“Er, to give you an award.”
“What for?”
“Gig of the Year as voted for by the Hot Press boys and girls.”
“Do I get anything for it?”
“Just our continued adulation.”
“That’ll do!”
It’s a little under four hours until showtime at the Casino de Paris, a 19th Century music hall on the rue de Clichy, and Noel Gallagher appears rather chuffed that his October 24 show in the Dublin Olympia – his first with the High Flying Birds – tickled so many Trinity Street fancies.
“My guitarist Tim’s from America – he’s not really got a clue about much – so when our intro music, ‘Blue Moon’, came on and people started booing he didn’t realise it was because Dublin’s full of filthy United fans upset that they’d just been beaten 6-1 by City,” Noel grins mischievously. “I mock shivered and said, ‘They don’t like me in this town. Fuck me, it’s a horrible place – we should have started the tour somewhere else’, which made him think we’d be bottled off stage!”
What was Noel thinking as the boos rose to a crescendo?
“‘Please God, let me get to the mic without falling over and see what comes out the other end!’ No, I wasn’t nervous. In fact, I’m more relaxed now doing this than I was with Oasis because I know there’s nobody else who’s going to fuck it up! I’m in control of it, I know how to do it and everybody in the band’s happy unless I tell them otherwise!”
He must have been the proverbial dog with two dicks after smiting Fergie’s men like that.
“Well, if Carlsberg did days! I got the call that my album had got to number one at three; the game finished at six; we did the gig and then got a private plane home to London so I could be presented with ‘Icon of the Year’ at the Q Awards. ‘Fucking hell, what a 24 hours this has been!’ To top it all off Bono and his lovely wife Ali were there, so we got to catch up and have a few drinks with them .”
So life as a (sort of) solo artist is treating him well?
“I’ve got the music and singing side of it sorted out, I’ve just got to patent some moves – or steal some! I’m not struggling with it at all. I thought I’d be a miserable old crow about it, but like I say it’s actually a relief not to have any Oasis-style craziness in my life.”
I’m surprised that the man perched atop the Grazia magazine ‘Column of Lust’ has time to be talking to Hot Press.
“Beating them off with a shitty stick, I am!” he deadpans. “Why couldn’t this have happened when I was single as opposed to happily married and laden down with kids? It’s a bit of a fucker, I have
to say.”
Still, no bad thing to be drooled over by all those yummy mummies.
“I’ve obviously got some kind of wizard hold over the ladies. As long as Mrs. Gallagher’s happy though that’s all that matters.”
We don’t have a Hot Press Blogger of the Year Award, but if we did it might very well go to Noel for his daily Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere: Return Of The Dread-I dispatches, which on November 11 included mention of “top Scientologist Katie Holmes.”
“We were backstage at the David Letterman Show, fucking about and filming footage for my website when who should come into camera shot other than Mrs. Tom Cruise?” he explains. “It was obvious as the three scruffy blokes from Manchester and the three other scruffy blokes from Liverpool shook her hand that she A) Didn’t have a fucking clue who we were and B) Couldn’t understand anybody’s accent. Anyway, one of her ‘people’ came along and said, ‘Can you delete that?’ We were like, ‘Really? Fucking hell!’ We also met Adam Sandler and Steve Martin who was there with his banjo but strangely not on the show.”
Elsewhere, we get to read about Noel running up a £7,000 bar bill in a London nightclub (“A proper good effort that”); his appearance on a Danish cookery show (“One of the presenters referred to the chef as a Michelin star cock at one point”); and meeting Paul McCartney in Italy.
“As you do,” he beams. “He just happened to be in Milan the same night we were, so we popped along to his show, which as usual was mega. When you’re in the room and talking to him about the wife and kids etc. etc. it doesn’t seem that big a deal, but three days later when The Beatles come on the radio it’s, ‘Fucking hell, I met the guy who’s playing bass on that record!’”
Bone-picking time: when Hot Press last powowed with Noel in September he didn’t give us any indication that he knew the Stone Roses were reforming, which he must have done being bezzies of theirs.
“Yeah, I caught wind of it during the summer. There was a lot of, ‘You know that thing? Well, it might be happening.’ Then it was, ‘That thing’s definitely on.’ It was like a drug deal taking place over the phone – nobody actually said the words, ‘The Stone Roses are getting back together again.’”
Has he kept his diary free for those Heaton
Park shows?
“No, I’m going to be away unfortunately but being festival season I’m convinced our paths will cross somewhere. I tell you what, they’re so fucking up for it it’s not true.”
I’m sure Noel is an avid Hot Press Christmas Summit reader, but in case he missed it Phill Jupitus is of the opinion that the world is more in need of a Smiths reunion than a Roses one.
“I’d rather have both. Book Knebworth for a week and have ‘em play together. I still think that one day you’ll see Morrissey on the same stage as Johnny Marr. And no, that doesn’t come from any insider information!”
What’s his favourite Roses memory?
“Seeing them for the first time when I didn’t have a clue who they were. Their manager, Gareth Evans, had come up to me in the street and given me a ticket for their gig in the International 2. I went in – it was empty by the way – on they came and I was like, ‘Wow, what the fuck?’ I bought a vinyl copy of ‘Sally Cinnamon’ on the way out, and that was it. I’d seen The Smiths before and in hindsight was searching for some sort of musical direction, but I could never be a Morrissey or a Johnny Marr. As soon as I heard ‘Sally Cinnamon’ though, it was ‘Ah, but I can do that!’ That was the start of my musical journey.”
My only concern is that if the Stone Roses are back, can Northside be far behind?
“Hahahaha! Oh dear… God bless ‘em, if it happens it happens.”
With souncheck beckoning, time for one last question – where was Noel when word came through of Gary Speed’s death?
“We were flying into Milan,” he recalls grimly. “I turned my phone on after being in the air for a couple of hours, and there it was. It was just like, ‘Whaaaaaaat?’ It was fucking unbelievably shocking. I still can’t get my head around it.”
Actually, time for a second last question – everything ready for Christmas Day?
“Yeah, Sara’s back home as we speak buying the kids’ presents. Christmas is a quiet one and we’re having a party this New Year’s Eve, so that could be messy. I’m going to watch City beat Liverpool in the Carling Cup, Liverpool in the league and Man U in the FA Cup and then I’m off to Japan and Australia for a month. I’m chuffed beyond all belief at how well things have gone for me this year. Ireland
was great, as usual, so thanks very
much everybody.”