Do I mind if you smoke? Em… em… We’re kinda doing this TV thing later, you know, and… Em… em… You know, I’d kinda prefer if you didn’t. Sorry, man!”

The polar opposite of Lemmy, Kirk Hammett doesn’t really come across like one of the world’s biggest heavy-metal stars. Sitting on a couch in a luxurious suite in London’s Mandarin Oriental, the petite Metallica guitarist boasts skin peachier than a baby’s behind and long, black, shiny, curly hair that any shampoo company would be happy to claim responsibility for. He’s sipping mineral water rather than whiskey and tobacco smoking is completely out of the question. He dresses the part alright – boot runners, leather trousers, black vest and crucifix neckchain – but his clothes are clean and pressed, rather than ripped and vomit encrusted. His teeth are whiter than Alaska and there are no visible tattoos.

Unfortunately, there’s no album to discuss either. Although Metallica’s eleventh album St Anger – their first studio offering since 1997’s Re-Load – is due out in less than a fortnight, the band’s much publicised fear of theft-by-Napster has led to a serious embargo. Hot Press was only allowed one listen on a Discman in the bar downstairs, before having it snatched away again by an anxious record company rep. It’s difficult to judge the merits of an album in such circumstances so – other than telling you that it’s very loud, very fast and almost 75 minutes long – we won’t even try.

Instead we’re going to ask him if he prefers Britney to Christina, Family Guy to The Simpsons and whether or not he shaves his pubes. Hey, that’s what you wanted to know! Over to you, readers…

Kirk, you’ve witnessed a lot of line-up changes in Metallica over the years. Did you ever consider leaving the band yourself?
::: Christopher Helly, Tallaght
Never! There was never a time where it felt alien to me. I’ve always been 100% comfortable in Metallica. There are more reasons for me to stay in this band than not. And even when things have been at their most fucked-up, I’ve always held onto the hope that we’d just get through it. And we have! I pride myself on my dedication and my loyalty, it’s something that I hold in very high regard. I’m very dedicated to this band and I’m very dedicated to the other three guys. I’m very dedicated to Metallica the concept, you know, as well as Metallica the band and Metallica the music. For the last 20 years, I’ve always felt that this is where I belong. And when it came to a point last year where that might have been threatened, I still hung in there. I knew that I had to be patient – very, very patient. And I’m just glad that we’re still a band and stronger than ever.

Do you consider St. Anger to be your strongest work to date?
::: Christopher Helly, Tallaght
People have been asking me that. To me there’s no such thing as best piece of work. I feel that all our albums stand on their own merits. Having said that, I feel that this album has a lot of merit. It has a lot of qualities. It’s a very special album in how it was conceived. And I’m so emotionally involved and so emotionally attached to this album – much deeper than previous albums because of the way it was conceived. But I refuse to say it’s our best album because I don’t think there’s such a thing as our ‘best album’ by Metallica. I can tell you that my favourite album at this point is still Master Of Puppets. But goddam it, man, I’m fucking proud of this album and I love it to death! It’s our new child and I feel like a doting parent over it.

If you had to choose only one from between sex, drugs and rock & roll, which would it be?
::: MR.C via e-mail
That’s a hard one! Em… (laughs). Oh man! I could easily cross out drugs – because I think I could continue without drugs. But sex and rock & roll fulfill the same sorta thing within me, man! That’s about as far as I can go. I could do without the drugs but I don’t think I could go without the sex and rock & roll!

Who’d win in a fight between yourself and Axl Rose?
::: Squiggles, via e-mail
You know, I’m a non-violent person who believes in non-violent resolutions. I would probably just stand there and be very zen about it and let him hit me. Then I’d just attack him with all my philosophy and beliefs on why it was such an uncool thing to do. “Come on Axl – haven’t you ever heard of a therapist?” (laughs)

What’s your most treasured possession?
::: Larry Murphy, NYC
I would say my health and my beliefs. Without my health and my beliefs everything else wouldn’t be possible. My health brings me to places like this, brings me to be able to play two-and-a-half hours on stage, you know. Brings me to be able to play guitar for long periods. And my beliefs shape me as a person. It shapes my attitude towards the outer world as well as my own inner world. Without those two things I just wouldn’t be the same person. Without those two things I’d probably be the type of person I don’t like.

How much would you be willing to pay to appear in an episode of The Simpsons?
::: Matt G, Springfield
The Simpsons are pretty goddam funny – pretty goddam cool. Can you put a price on something like that? To be on The Simpsons would just be priceless to me! (laughs)

Which do you prefer – Family Guy or The Simpsons?
::: Robert Lewis, Glasgow
Family guy or Simpsons? Em… that’s a weird question. You know, even though I don’t have a family, I consider myself very family orientated. One day my wife and I plan on having a family. We’re just waiting for it to happen and in the meantime we…
Em, I think he actually meant the TV show…
Oh! Family Guy! Right (laughs). Well, in that case, The Simpsons, man, for sure!

Who’s better – Britney or Christina?
::: Steve Walsh, Belfast
Well Christina definitely has the talent. Her talent is more evident than Britney’s. Just on a purely superficial level, I think I like looking at Britney more than I like looking at Christina. But Christina I think is the more talented of the two.

Have you ever paid for sex?
::: John G, via e-mail
Come on, man, I’m a red-blooded male! Next question (laughs). Actually, no – let’s back that up. Every male has paid for sex, whether it’s in cash, a movie, a nice dinner, you know. Washing the car, cleaning the rug, buying flowers – we’ve all paid for sex! Come on! Who’s kidding who?

What’s your opinion of George Bush?
::: Damien Doyle, via e-mail
I didn’t vote for him. He won this election by proxy. I don’t think he was qualified in the beginning to lead the country and I don’t think he’s qualified now to lead the country. In my opinion, he’s got a lot of blood on his hands. And that’s all I’ll say.

What do you think of the reports that the US military are currently using the song ‘Enter Sandman’ to torture Iraqi prisoners?
::: Alan Bradshow, Dublin
That to me is a very sad thing. It’s a tragedy. We make music to entertain – to help people, to uplift people, to help people through hard times, to get ourselves through hard times. We create music, record it and put it out there. Unfortunately, we really don’t have any control over what people do with our music. I just think it’s an incredibly shameful thing that people are using our music for such a negative thing. I think it’s a goddam shame. It’s a serious misuse of our music. It’s disgusting!

Have you ever shaved your pubes?
::: Niall S, Dublin
Ah yeah, man, come on! I’m a creative musician who’s seen a lot in his day and has tried a lot of things in his day (laughs). Of course I’ve shaved my pubes! How else am I gonna make it look bigger?

Have you ever had a gay experience?
::: Michael, Donegal
I’ve not had a gay experience outside of kissing my drummer.

Who’s the smelliest member of Metallica?
::: Martin Fante, Long Beach
Lars! Definitely Lars! And maybe… no. Lars!

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done while drunk?
::: Mike Thornton, South Africa
While drunk? Oh Lord! I’ve done so many goddam embarrassing things while drunk. So many that none are coming to mind (laughs). I’ve done a lot of embarrassing things like… Em, I’ve made a fool out of myself more times than I’d like to admit. But did I care at the moment? Hell no! Let’s just leave it at that.

What’s your best hangover cure?
::: Mike Thornton, South Africa
Not drinking!

Should dope be legalised?
::: Tara, via e-mai
Absolutely. It’s just an herb. I think a lot of the reason why dope – I should say cannabis – is illegal is because as a resource it’s very beneficial. Before it became illegal it was used for clothing, soap, all this stuff. The oil was used to light up households. You could make paper, you could make rope, it was a food source, it was used for medicinal reasons. It was used for all the reasons and had so many resources to it that people who were into big industry felt threatened because it was so accessible and everyone could grow it. It was available to everyone. And to make industrial fuel more valuable they had to cut all the competition out. And unfortunately cannabis was probably the biggest threat to the profits of fossil fuels. I mean, if you used hemp oil nowadays you’d have an energy resource that could be cultivated. And if you had fields and fields of hemp it would help the ozone layer – as opposed to fossil fuels that destroy the ozone layer. There are a lot of practical reasons why hemp should be legal outside of getting high.

After seeing the video for St Anger I was wondering have ye been watching that TV programme Oz?
::: Clarebear, Kerry
No, I’ve never seen that. I’ve heard about it, but I don’t really turn on my TV a lot. I’m a real bookworm, I read a lot. I read tons. The only time I turn on my television is to maybe watch Saturday Night Live or The Simpsons or MTV or something.

At MTV Icon, why didn’t you go the whole way and get Justin Timberlake to sing a song?
::: Xpod, Ballyconnell
Eh… I don’t think Justin Timberlake has the cojones to do a James Hetfield. You know what cojones means? Right.

What is the band’s view on the success of many nu-metal bands (Linkin Park, Papa Roach) in recent years?
::: Dermot, Kilkenny
You know anything that can keep the genre going and healthy I’m all for. I’m not gonna sit there and judge these bands at all because I think that it’s very, very healthy for bands to be successful in heavy metal, because it’s success for the genre and it keeps the genre going. In the past I have been judgmental of new bands but I’ve stopped doing that because I’ve realised that heavy metal as a whole is one big family really. And it just makes sense to support other bands because heavy metal as a genre is something I believe in so much, you know. Anything I can do to further the genre I’m all for it. I’m glad that other heavy metal bands are having big success. Definitely. I think it’s a good thing.

When did you first hear Thin Lizzy’s ‘Whiskey In The Jar’, and what other Lizzy song would you like to cover?
::: Owen Jennings, via e-mail
The first time I heard that Thin Lizzy album was when Chris Burton played it to me. He had a tape of that whole album and… (pauses). Actually, the very first Thin Lizzy album I heard was Jailbreak and that was back in the day, you know, when it first came out – 1976 or something. But Chris Burton played that song for me back in 1984 or something. But there’s loads of Thin Lizzy songs I’d like to cover. I love Black Rose – the entire album. Actually, I heard that he has a son nobody knew about! That’s so amazing – just that the Phil Lynott gene is still out there. That’s a good thing. It’s a good thing in the same way that it’s a great thing that Bob Marley has about fifteen children. The guy had such amazing talent, let’s just hope that it was passed down in his DNA. Same thing with Phil Lynott. He had such amazing talent let’s just hope that it was passed down in his DNA. Maybe it won’t show up in this generation but maybe if his son has sons it’ll show up in the next generation. I just think it’s a great thing.

Are you religious?
::: Lucifer, via e-mail
I’m all for karma. I’m a great believer in what comes around goes around. You’re affected by everything you do. And you just have to have an awareness of that. Awareness is a good term for me to use. I’m always mentally checking myself – am I doing the right thing? Am I thinking the right thing? Am I saying the right thing? I think that where I am in life now and how I feel is directly affected by that. I try and spread that as much as I can. Even through the music. My lifestyle determines my deathstyle, you know.