We’re not suggesting that third-levellers spend all their time necking Dutch Gold and Buckfast, but key the words “drunk” and “student” into Google and no fewer than 1,800,000 results come up.
A good few of these are links to www.drunkuniversity.com, a disturbingly exhaustive resource which makes you wonder how anybody in the history of Scholardom has managed to get a degree.
Keen connoisseurs of other people’s misfortunes that we are, Caught In The Net thoroughly enjoyed the pictures of students who’ve had horrible things done to them by supposed friends whilst passed out.
The site also has a section devoted to Libby Hoeler, the University of Wisconsin freshman who became an unwitting porn star when videos of her drunkenly frolicking in her dorm made it on to the web.
The moral of the story being: If you’re going to masturbate along to Divinyls’ ‘I Touch Myself’ with a giant dildo, make sure no one in the room’s got a camcorder.
Meanwhile, a group of enterprising Harvard undergraduates have set up what they claim to be the first ever XXX student magazine.
Billed as “The College Guide To Carnal Knowledge”, Boink has had no difficulty recruiting student models for it debut issue, which has sold over 10,000 copies.
“I think that with each generation sex becomes more obvious,” says editor Alecia Oleyourryk. “It’s more out in the open and less private. This trend towards college sex magazines is just another branch of that.”
It’s not all hamburger shots though, with Oleyourryk claiming that the mag has a strong social agenda
“We will be talking about some serious topics like pregnancy, STDs, abuse and date rape,” she continues. “We plan to cover any and all sex-related issues that are relevant to college students - male, female, straight, gay or bi.”
Meanwhile, students who are finding that Accountancy degree tough going might be interested in some of the alternatives listed at www.princetonreview.com/college/research/articles/life/bizarreclasses.asp.
“Have you boldly gone where many men have gone before, i.e. a Star Trek convention?” poses the college newspaper. “If yes, you’d probably prosper in Indiana University’s Star Trek & Religion class. Upon completion, true Trekkies will want to transfer immediately to Georgetown for its Philosophy & Star Trek class.”
They then go on to list such music-related courses as Brown University’s The Career Of Bob Dylan, University of Southern California’s The Beatles Albums: A Critical Appraisal and UC-Riverside’s Rap, Hip Hop & Popular Culture.
Imagine how impressed Irish employers would be if you went to them with a 2.1 in the Quantum Physics Of Aslan or Advanced Shane MacGowanology?
Which just leaves time for quick visits to www.ucc.ie/ccr (The excellent Cork Campus Radio online); www.nsma.com/uk (The search for the 2006 Student Band of the Year starts here); and www.mcdonalds.com/corp/career/hamburger_university.html (Get a McDegree).