A WEEK ago, while walking up Grafton Street, I was approached by a young man in an unnervingly yellow jumper who asked me if I had ever been to the land of my people. Out of curiosity, I decided to stop and listen to my pulloverly-challenged friend. This was a mistake. It quickly became apparent that the man was a fool, and what's worse, a Christian fool. He babbled on about how the land of my people was "the promised land", a place where "the salvation of Christ is all that matters". He handed me a leaflet with a colour picture of Jesus on one side and some sort of prayer on the other. In return, I advised him to brush up on his geography and then scurried away as quickly as possible.

In the Dublin city centre of today, this kind of encounter is not all that unusual. The streets are literally crawling with evangelical nutcases of all kinds. There are Mormons, Moonies, Jehovah's Witnesses, Scientologists, Hare Krishnas, all manner of Born Again loolahs and a smattering of freelancers of indeterminate denomination. There's also the beardy chap on the top of Grafton Street who goes up to passers-by and asks "Do you know Jesus?" The correct response to this query of course is to reply "No, but I do know ju-jitsu" and to then adopt an aggressive attack-position.

Every one of these religion-hawkers has a sales pitch. All of them try to engage you in conversation, most have literature to give you. This takes up time, your time. Last Saturday, while on a pilgrimage to the real land of my people, Burgerland, I was accosted by six separate God-botherers. If I hadn't walked straight past every single one of them, a journey of fifteen minutes would've been trebled.

It's time to fight back. I hereby urge all atheists and other sensible citizens to get your own pamphlets printed up and to carry them wherever you go. That way, if any of these bastards start annoying you, you can annoy them back. Waste their time for a change. Talk drivel to them, hand them some pointless scrap of paper and see how they like it. Maybe you could even arrange to drop 'round to their house some evening for a longer chat.

We're mad as hell and we ain't gonna take it anymore. Do it to them before they do it to you.

• Liam Fay