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Tackling the silence around suicide

Limerick Live 95 FM DJ Alan Jacques is open about the fact that he has suffered from depression. A new CD of Irish artists compiled by him aims to highlight the major issue of suicide in Irish society.

Anne Sexton, 29 May 2012

“When you’re in a really dark place you lose sight of everything, even hope. But as someone once described it, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem,” says Alan Jacques.

Jacques can talk with authority on what it feels like to be suicidal. He has suffered from depression and has experienced suicidal thoughts himself. Now, the presenter of the Green & Live show on Limerick’s Live 95FM is driving the Life Support project – a CD of new Irish music in support of Pieta House, the suicide and self-harm prevention centre, which has just been released.

“Last year I lost my job out of the blue,” he recalls. “ I had been very happy there, but the newspaper closed down. It pulled the rug from under me. For a lot of men, a job is a big part of who you are and your identity is tied in with that. I didn’t cope very well. After a while, suicide was no longer an idea, it was something I was planning for. Suicide was my get-out-of-jail card.

“I wasn’t eating or sleeping,” he adds. “I couldn’t function on any level at all. I have a cousin I am close to and I called him one day and he told me I needed to do something about how I was feeling. He’d heard of Pieta House and suggested I give them a call. I did and I got in, to see them, and things improved dramatically straight away.”

Jacques was suffering from depression, and although his family were supportive, he notes that sometimes this is not enough.

“I was looking for help in all the wrong places. At that point I needed professional help. It was an awful time for my family. It’s very hard to understand another person’s pain and what they are going through. Most of us are not qualified to deal with that. People were supportive but it just didn’t reach me. It wasn’t until I went to counselling that things began to change.”

Jacques had tried anti-depressants but it wasn’t the answer for him.

“Anti-depressants are the quick fix but they actually made me feel worse,” he recalls. “I don’t think they are for everyone. I was depressed because of a life event – I wasn’t just depressed. When I went to Pieta House I told them I was on anti-depressants but I wanted to come off them because they weren’t helping. After a couple of sessions I realised that talking was the best cure for me.”



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