- Music
- 10 Oct 17
The late singer also believed that he was being "bloody picked on by God", it is revealed in a new documentary to be aired on TV next week.
George Michael was still working on the 'Freedom' documentary only 48 hours before his tragic demise last Christmas.
'Freedom', which will be screened on 16 October on Channel 4, includes never before seen interviews with George Michael.
At one point, he's asked what he would like his epitaph to be and he said: "I hope people think of me as someone who had some kind of integrity. I hope I'm remembered for that, very unlikely. I think its all been a waste of time, a waste of effort."
He also opened up about how the tragic death of his former lover Anselmo Feleppa to the Aids virus still haunted him right up until his own death.
Speaking on camera only three months before his death, George Michael said: "Anselmo was the first time I think I really loved someone selflessly. It was kind of knee-jerk. I felt immediately that everything had changed.
"It's still very hard for me to explain how finding a companion at that stage in my life changed me. And such a beautiful companion and such an amazing person."
He added: "I was terrified of losing him. He was my saviour. Finding a companion at that time in my life changed me....
"I was absolutely devastated to find out he had a terminal illness... just devastated."
At the time George's mother was also battling cancer. He lost his mother and lover within the space of five years. He said it all made him fearful and constantly thinking about death.
"I felt so bloody picked on by God. I took it very badly, very badly indeed. I’ve never felt that kind of depression," he stated.