Ri-Ri, you absolute dear! It was only last month when I begged you to stop sounding like a distorted princess of the undead, and lo and behold, you've only gone and released a stripped-back ballad, sauced with a dynamite vocal! It's a real shame that Taylor bloody Swift can come up with more exciting melodies than the one on 'California King Bed' though. Honestly, Ri. You've simply got to learn how to take advice.