While the jury’s still out on whether he lamped that 16-year-old in Manchester recently, Roy Keane was definitely guilty of malice aforethought a few seasons ago when he tried to detach Manchester City’s Alfie Haaland from his legs.

The person who red carded him that day was David Elleray, the Harrow schoolmaster-cum-top flight referee who’s just published his autobiography, The Man In The Middle.
“It’s in my top – or maybe that should be bottom – three worst tackles,” he grimaces. “I’d no way of knowing it at the time, but he subsequently admitted in his own book that he was out to ‘get’ Haaland for something he’d said about him feigning injury. David Beckham and Garry Neville vociferously disputing the decision you expect, but I was stunned when the City captain, Steve Howey, came over and said, ‘You’ve not sent him off for that, have you, David?’ Keane’s tackle was moderately worse than Pat Van Den Hauwe kung fu kicking Ian Dowie when Spurs played Luton Town in 1990, but not as bad as Jorgen Kohler’s assault – I use the word advisedly – on Cafu in the 1998 Germany v Brazil World Cup game.”
Early bathed by him on three other occasions, Roy commemorated Elleray’s retirement by sending him a letter on headed Manchester United paper which read: “I am so pleased to hear that you are at long last hanging up your boots and red card. I will not forget you, especially when I look back at all my suspensions and fines.”
“He went on to wish me a very happy retirement, so I was actually rather touched,” the 49-year-old laughs before moving on to the equally X-rated subject of The Crazy Gang.
“Wimbledon were pretty nightmarish. You had Vinnie Jones doing his best to intimidate opponents, and John Fashanu who had, shall we say, a uniquely physical aspect to his game. He was Mr. Politeness before the game – ‘Mr. Elleray, or can I call you David, how nice to see you’ – and then he’d go and break somebody’s nose with his elbow. As for supporters, the atmosphere at Elland Road and the old Millwall was particularly hostile. You rarely managed to get away from the Den without being spat at or having tea thrown at you.”
The youngest player Elleray’s sent off is probably Wayne Rooney who was only 17 when he was given his marching orders for a two-footed jump tackle on Birmingham’s Steve Vickers.
“Which left him with a gash that required eight stitches,” he says sniffily. “David Moyes came in to see me after the game with his laptop and showed me two angles of the tackle which made it look less serious. This puzzled me, so as soon as I got home I put the tape of the game Everton had given me on and, sure enough, there was a third angle showing Rooney stamping on Vickers which David Moyes had conveniently omitted from his little presentation. That illustrates why I’m against the idea of video refereeing.
“Talking of Everton, the player I got the worst abuse from was Duncan Ferguson. He swore loudly and aggressively at me, I gave him a get out of jail card by rhetorically asking, ‘What did you say?’ and he repeated it even more loudly and aggressively.”
Returning to Wayne Rooney, is Elleray worried that he could be the new Gazza?
“A lot of people are concerned that that is possible and it can’t be helpful for him that at such a young age he’s already having his private life dragged across the newspapers,” he reflects. “After the tournament this year in which England played Japan and Iceland, I spoke to several senior members of the F.A. and said, ‘Unless you get a grip of Rooney he’ll be sent off in Portugal because he clearly does lose it.’
Along with kidnapping Gordon Strachan – “I stood on the door and wouldn’t let him out until I’d answered the barrage of abuse he’d just thrown at me” – David Elleray is possibly the only referee to have donned a false beard and moustache for the 1999 Man U/Newcastle United Cup Final.
“It was after all the abuse I’d had from the Manchester/Liverpool semi-final,” he explains. “I had to be in the stands for a variety of reasons, so I went down to the drama department at Harrow and said I needed a disguise and they gave me the false whiskers which I applied myself. It was very uncomfortable but no one recognised me.”
The wrath of United fans is nothing compared to the hostility he encountered when he refereed the Brazilian Cup Final between über-rivals Corinthians and Sao Paolo.
“Imagine Leeds v Manchester, only ten times worse!” he laughs. “I arrived in the ground three-hours before kick-off to find 80,000 people already there. There was a huge moat, equally large fence and three separate tunnels to prevent the two teams and/or the referee fighting. Six huge riot police were assigned to protect me – not from the crowd but the players! At the end of the game, a Corinthians player came over and I’m sure all he wanted to do was shake hands but before he could do so he was whacked over the head with a truncheon. It really did make Roy Keane seem tame by comparison.”

David Elleray’s The Man In The Middle is published by Time Warner. The holidaying Tony Cascarino returns next issue.