All men are equal, but some are more equal than others. While some guys strike out on a regular basis, others find themselves in constant demand by the fairer sex. Why is that? What is it about some guys that make them irresistible?
Being successful with women is a different ballgame –no pun indeed—to being popular with the boys. Finding a decent guy for great sex and a long-term relationship is like finding the Golden Ticket in the Wonka bar – consumer persistence and fair amount of luck. On the other hand, casual sex is easy. We enter the fray, dressed for battle in our new heels and war paint, fully expecting to succeed. Not so with men. Men wonder if they’ll get lucky – women know they will.
For the many guys, scoring is often more miss than hit. Looks and money help and with enough of either or a decent helping of both, any man can blag his way into a number of bedrooms.
Really good-looking guys don’t have to approach women. They’ll come to them. I once had a boyfriend who looked like a Diesel jeans model. He was gorgeous. Unfortunately I wasn’t the only one who thought so; I constantly had to beat off the competition. As soon as my back was turned, he’d be surrounded by a gaggle of nubile young ones vying for his attention. Of course he loved it, but he didn’t seek it out. He didn’t need to.
Money is a turn-on for many women, not necessarily because they are gold-diggers, but because money opens up possibilities. Having money is no good in itself; it’s how you use it that counts. Show me a man who invites a woman to lunch and takes her to dine in Paris, and I’ll show you a man who will definitely be getting some before sunset.
Unfortunately we can’t all be rich and gorgeous. Most of us are average. This is where the art of seduction comes in.
Neil Strauss’ The Game contends that any man can become a pick-up artist. Strauss describes himself as average frustrated chump until he met a seduction guru called ‘Mystery’. By using Mystery’s technique, Strauss contends that he was able to bed hundreds of beautiful women.
The success of the book has given rise to a number of websites devoted to the methodology of pulling. On these sites, men discuss the rules of seduction, sharing their successes and failures and provide a buddy system to encourage would-be Casanovas to get out there and score.
It would be easy to dismiss seduction techniques as nonsense. After all, attraction is often illogical so seduction can never be an exact science. On the other hand, human behaviour is predictable to a certain extent and there is an underlying logic to many of the rules. Used with the right amount of flair and humour, I imagine that these rules of seduction are often successful.
Some of the tactics suggested by seduction gurus are downright dishonest – but hell, all is fair in love and war. Moreover, you can’t blame guys for trying to improve their hit rate. I am sure it must be extremely frustrating – and not just sexually – to realise what seemed like a decent prospect prefers to go home alone.
My only problem with this type of seduction is that it’s just so old-fashioned. The basic premise is that men want sex and women want to stop them from getting it. We have to have our resistance overcome. It’s the old hunter and prey analogy, which is tired and, speaking as a woman, frankly insulting. Seduction doesn’t have to be something you do to a person, it can be something you do with them.
I think nothing is more irresistible than the direct approach. There is something so sexy about a man who states his desire clearly and unmistakeably. Lean over and whisper in my ear just how much you want to fuck me, and I am almost guaranteed to go weak at the knees.
I don’t want to be feed weak lines and strong drink; I want to be turned on. I want a man to kiss me with passion, to pull his fingers through my hair, bite my neck and tell me exactly what he wants to do to me. I want him to drag me into the darkest corner of the pub or club. I want to feel his erection pressed up against my leg. I want him to send me filthy text messages when I go to the bathroom. I want him to set my mind racing thinking of the pleasure on offer. Most of all, I want him to make me believe that going home with him will be the only decision I could possibly make.
I can’t promise that being straightforward will work with every woman. You may find yourself on the receiving end of a backhander if you’re not careful. But I am certainly not the only woman who prefers to be treated as a normal, horny person instead of a potential conquest.
There is one thing men would do well to remember: very few women agree to go on a date with someone, or spend more than 10 minutes talking to him if she isn’t sizing up his sexual potential. You may well be in, but only if she thinks it’s going to be worth her while. Show her it is.
Successful seduction is all about giving a woman what she wants. Let me give it to you straight – women want sex. Hot sex. If you aren’t going to give it to us, we’ll be saving ourselves for George Clooney. The choice is yours.