Would you let Someone Watch?

Voyeurism is a common sexual fantasy. Why, it’s even a sexual preference for some. But conventionally it’s regarded in a rather dim light. So which sexual conventions are you comfortable with – if any?

Anne Sexton, 28 Oct 2011

By the time Freud developed psychoanalysis, which was around the end of the 19th century, sexual privacy was the norm for wealthy Viennese like him and prudishness about sexual matters was the only respectable attitude. However, this was very much a middle-class phenomenon. For the urban poor, small farmers and labourers, privacy was rarely guaranteed, which is one reason why the behaviour of the so-called “lower orders” so shocked the sensibilities of the wealthy.

All of this is really just a preamble to point out that what we regard as appropriate sexual behaviour is very much historically and culturally contingent. We talk about the sexual revolution in the ‘60s as if it freed up sexual behaviour, and to a large extent it did in the industrialised world, but we still have a number of rules of what we think is proper and improper sexual behaviour. Some sexual rules are subject to law, but plenty of others are the product of convention.

Take the issue of voyeurism. Spy on others having sex through a bedroom window and you are a pervert, spy through a computer window and that’s normal.

Then there is the flipside of voyeurism – exhibitionism. Have sex in a field where there is a small chance you’ll be spotted and you are sexually adventurous; have sex in a street where you will definitely be seen and you’re regarded as lacking self-respect, possibly being downright sick.

How about the issue of virginity? We have laws regarding the age of consent, but we also have unwritten rules about an upper age limit too. Reach your mid-20s without having had sex, and unless you are a member of an abstinence club, most of your friends will wonder if you are bizarrely asexual or just a loser with the opposite sex.

Then there is the whole idea of sowing your wild oats. We regard it as normal and proper for people to have multiple sexual partners before settling down with one person. If you think about it, it’s pretty weird that we expect people to go from a sexual feast to a famine after they utter a vow. In many ways it made more sense to ask people to wait until they got married – at least they wouldn’t know that they were missing out on variety.

Page 2/4     <Previous 1 2 3 4 Next> 

Anne Sexton

Her writing may broach subjects as dark as murder and child sex abuse but, in reality, AM Homes possesses a much more positive outlook.

2012-12-19 - Interview

As Kate Mosse’s highly successful fantasy trilogy comes to a close with Citadel, the author talks about making it in midlife, how Carcassone inspired her and why we should not be afraid to celebrate women.

2012-12-11 - Interview

And teenagers are especially vulnerable to it, as a series of recent suicides confirm. So what can be done to combat the menace? words Anne Sexton photos Graham Keogh

2012-12-03 - Frontlines

An entirely serviceable hunk o’ soft rock...

2012-11-02 - REVIEW

It is a major cause for concern that half of all LBGT people have considered suicide. And the biggest cause is bullying...

2012-10-25 - Frontlines

Whelan’s, Dublin

2012-10-05 - REVIEW

What if God decided to destroy mankind so that he could open a fusion restaurant instead? In his funny and profound new novel, 20-something literary wunderkind Simon Rich imagines just such a scenario.

2012-10-05 - Interview

A comedy novel about eroticism? That’s what Booker winner Howard Jacobson attempts with his latest opus. Just don’t tell him it reminds you of 50 Shades of Grey. He’s likely to turn 50 shades of red

2012-10-02 - Interview

Some of Ireland’s leading musicians are joining forces to campaign for the introduction of same sex marriage in Ireland. At stake, they say, is a fundamental human right.

2012-10-02 - Reports

Bord Gáis Energy Theatre, Dublin

2012-09-21 - REVIEW

College is often described as the best time of your life, but many students suffer anxiety and depression. However with a little care, you can safeguard your mental well being

2012-09-13 - Reports

Not at all the misanthrope you might have expected, Will Self reflects on the Booker Prize, Nick Cave, the London Olympics, the incarceration of Pussy Riot and various issues of the day.

2012-09-11 - Interview

He had it all but conspired to throw it away. Now Aaron Bruno is at last enjoying sustained success with his new band Awolnation.

2012-08-31 - Interview

I don’t know if any of it had a scintilla to do with peace, but the happy, friendly, dancing crowd thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

2012-07-03 - REVIEW

Say what you like about Westlife, but there is no denying their power to move a crowd.

2012-06-29 - REVIEW

Excruciating corporate instuction videos are among the many delights that can be sampled at the imminent Trashfest, a celebration of all things too bad to be true.

2012-06-29 - Reports

Her music deals in old fashioned romance in the swooning style of classical literature. But in person Shaefri is anything but a weeping violet, as Anne Sexton discovers.

2012-06-27 - Interview

Limerick Live 95 FM DJ Alan Jacques is open about the fact that he has suffered from depression. A new CD of Irish artists compiled by him aims to highlight the major issue of suicide in Irish society.

2012-05-29 - Frontlines

The Irish Whiskey Society meets in Brooks Hotel – which happens to house one of the greatest whiskey bars in the world.

2012-05-24 - Frontlines

Now in its ninth year, the Dublin Tattoo Convention attracts tattoo artists from across the world. This year, 120 exhibitors from Europe, America and Asia took part.

2012-05-16 - Reports

A former Northern Ireland school teacher David Park isn’t an obvious candidate for lifting the lid on life in 21st century Amsterdam, but that’s exactly what he has achieved with his latest novel.

2012-04-12 - Interview

Ireland likes to think of itself as a theatre power-house. So why are we so rubbish at putting on musicals? Phillip McMahon has set out to remedy this with his Alice In Funderland extravaganza.

2012-03-30 - Frontlines

For his latest literary tour-de-force Northern novelist Glenn Patterson travels back to 19th century Belfast and explores the forces that shaped the city as it is today.

2012-03-29 - Interview

Having languished for decades, the short story is making a comeback with authors such as Jon McGregor leading the charge. He explains how he convinced his publisher to let him return to his first love.

2012-03-01 - Interview

2012-02-27 - REVIEW

UCD Student Bar, Dublin

2012-02-09 - REVIEW

Having wowed crime fans with his previous novels, Adrian McKinty is on a roll. Set in the dark days of 1981 when the north was a cold house for gays, immigrants and outsiders of every hue and the hunger strikes raged, his latest opus The Cold, Cold Ground is sure to confirm his status as one of Ireland’s grittiest storytellers.

2012-02-02 - Interview

The Kanyu Tree prove to be the big student draw.

2012-01-27 - REVIEW

A wrenching account of a damaged childhood, Jon Bauer’s debut has the literati in a swoon. He explains why sometimes it’s okay to repulse the reader.

2012-01-19 - Interview

It’s one of the world’s most exciting and dangerous cities. Now a local filmmaker aims to construct an accurate portrayal of the misunderstood metropolis of Johannesburg.

2011-12-09 - Frontlines

Funnyman Neil Delamere holds forth on the ongoing economic shitstorm, comedy groupies and his family’s dodgy history as sword-wielding marauders with interesting moustaches.

2011-12-06 - Interview

Why do some celebs survive scandal when others end up in ruin? It’s all down to branding and soundbites explains journalist Sam Leith in his provocative new book on rhetoric in the celebrity and political realm.

2011-11-24 - Interview

Updating Oscar Wilde for the web 2.0 generation and showcasing some tasty up and coming bands – a new RTE young person’s show is breaking all the rules and having fun along the way.

2011-11-08 - Frontlines

Ringleader of festivities, Glen Hansard, is in his usual fine form, joking and telling stories.

2011-10-21 - REVIEW

In a chilling example of art imitating life, Stuart Neville’s noir account of human trafficking in the north is published just as police there have uncovered shocking evidence of a sex slave ring. He discusses the marrow curdling case of serendipity and explains why his new heroine is the very opposite of the girl with the dragon tattoo.

2011-10-14 - Interview

You know someone with mental health issues. Maybe you aren’t aware of it but chances are that one of your close friends or a family member has suffered, perhaps in silence. That’s because discussing mental health problems is still taboo in Ireland.

2011-10-11 - Reports

Locke’s Distillery in Kilbeggan is a museum, which recently welcomed its one millionth visitor. But it is also a working distillery and home of the award winning Kilbeggan Whiskey.

2011-10-07 - Frontlines

It is hard to explain the gut-wrenching embarrassment aspiring writers feel when they hand their precious work over to somebody to read – it is a combination of fear and (self) loathing, to paraphrase Hunter S. Thompson. Sam Barry, the creative writing winner of the Bulmers Berry ‘Who’s Hiding In The Undergrowth?’ competition, knows this feeling all too well.

2011-10-07 - Interview

The staggering emotional intensity of laura marling’s work belies her 21 years, as amply demonstrated on her new album a creature i don’t know.

2011-10-04 - Interview

Ten years on from the World Trade Center attack, the suspicion is mounting that US intelligence knows something they’re determined to keep from the public...

2011-09-13 - Frontlines

She is part of a rising crop of Irish crime writers. But when it came to her latest chilling opus Arlene Hunt was surprised to discover that the country was just too crowded to serve as a backdrop.

2011-08-30 - Interview

The practice of Female Genital Mutilation is a major issue amongst certain immigrant communities in Ireland. However, activists like Ifrah Ahmed are hopeful that new legislation before the Dáil – which will make it illegal to remove a child from the State for the purposes of FGM – will put an end to the practice.

2011-08-25 - Frontlines

Vicar Street, Dublin

2011-08-24 - REVIEW

She found fame on X Factor and has gone on to sing for international royalty and share a stage with Neil Diamond. Ahead of her upcoming Aviva Stadium gig Mary Byrne talks about the burden of fame, the ex she never sees and coming to terms with stage fright words.

2011-08-22 - Interview

The Line of Beauty author Alan Hollinghurst returns with a sweeping examination of sexual politics through the 20th century. He discusses the gestation of The Stranger’s Child and the pressures of following a Booker win.

2011-08-22 - Interview

Based on a vicious real-life murder, Eoin McNamee’s latest crime thriller exposes the seedy underbelly of Northern Ireland.

2011-08-09 - Interview

Dublin indie band arrive in style on second album.

2011-07-15 - REVIEW

Do surfers really pee in their wetsuits? If anyone knows it will be Mickey Smith, surfer, musician, filmmaker, photographer and now judge of the relentless energy photography competition happening at this year's Sea Sessions Surf and Music Festival in Bundoran this June.

2011-06-24 - Interview

Author and sex therapist Pamela Stephenson-Connolly talks about her new book, Sex Life: How Our Sexual Experiences Define Who We Are.

2011-06-23 - Interview

Celebrity photographer Rankin journeyed to Kenya recently to chronicle the plight of hundreds of thousands of people who are starving as a result of climate change. Anne Sexton reports on the work being done by Oxfam to put food back on their plates.

2011-06-10 - Frontlines

Author of new black comedy, Plugged, Eoin Colfer talks about making the transition from writing for children to adults, and recalls receiving some very unusual fanmail...

2011-06-09 - Interview

Ask Jamie Heaslip how we are going to do in the World Cup in the Autumn and he responds: “We’ll win it.” But he says a lot more too, in what is his most personal and in-depth interview ever...

2011-06-02 - Interview

The most unlikely blind date since Mork and Mindy, Damo and Ivor are currently squatting atop the charts with their dipso, erm, classic ‘Everybody’s Drinkin’.

2011-05-10 - Frontlines

A series of free lectures in Temple Bar should supply the answers to pretty much everything you ever wanted to know about anything...

2011-04-15 - Frontlines

In the course of a colourful career as Ireland’s most brass-necked interviewer, Olaf Tyaransen has crossed swords with some of the most intriguing characters in Christendom. Here, he discusses the highs and lows with Anne Sexton

2011-03-31 - Interview

It’s the little play which has achieved a global impact. Ahead of a new run, Little Gem star Neili Conroy explains why this deeply moving tale of familial strife has struck a chord across the world.

2011-03-30 - Frontlines

In her debut novel, Anna Carey delves inside the mind of a teenage girl. She talks about channelling her own adolescence into fiction and recalls her busking adventures on Grafton Street.

2011-03-16 - Interview

Forget Suede and Pulp, the reunion on everyone’s lips is that of The Nualas, who are back with new member Maria Tecce. But will they be doing Glasto?

2011-03-15 - Frontlines

This year’s Seachtain na Gaeilge ambassadors speak about their love for the language – and explain why you don’t have to be fluent to love Irish.

2011-02-25 - Reports

A HBO-style Irish language domestic drama? That’s what TG4 has set out to achieve with its gritty new series, Corp + Anam.

2011-02-21 - Frontlines

Stripped back to their bare bones for this acoustic show at Vicar St., Bell X1’s songs wear their raw emotional quality with pride.

2010-11-22 - REVIEW

Evoking the surrealism of Flann O’Brien and the social heft of John McGahern PAUL MURRAY’s Skippy Dies has been hailed an instant classic and bagged a Booker Prize long list nomination. The author looks ahead to his spoken-word appearance at Electric Picnic.

2010-09-09 - Interview

In her literary take on the horrific case of Josef Fritzl, Emma Donoghue tries to imagine what a life of solitary confinement would look like from the perspective of a five year old child

2010-08-23 - Interview

In her literary take on the horrific case of Josef Fritzl, Emma Donoghue tries to imagine what a life of solitary confinement would look like from the perspective of a five year old child

2010-08-19 - Interview

Welcome back guys – we need your blend of infectious, disco funk more than ever!

2010-07-02 - REVIEW

In the last issue of Hot Press, we wrote about the growing levels of heroin use in Ireland. If you’re looking for an insight into the effects of heroin abuse, Jon McGregor’s new novel Even The Dogs is required reading

2010-06-30 - Frontlines

A murder mystery with no body, no crime and no killer? And at least two pervy relationships? Writer LOUISE WELSH explains what motivated her to write a whodunnit with a difference.

2010-06-30 - Interview

Now living in Cork, British experimental fiction writer David Mitchell talks about his fascination with the Far East and outlines the huge amount of legwork that went into the book

2010-06-01 - Interview

Fiddy is going through the motions and it shows

2010-03-26 - REVIEW

DMB may be a little AOR, but they do what they do with sublime skill.

2010-03-26 - REVIEW

He predicted the fall of the Celtic Tiger but Alan Glynn insists he’s simply a crime writer – and not a prophet of our times.

2010-03-04 - Interview

After a meteoric rise to inter-galactic mega-stardom, Snow Patrol still have further universes to conquer.

2010-03-04 - Interview

Joseph O’Connor announced his arrival on the international literary scene with his hugely acclaimed novel, Star Of the Sea. And with the third installment in his historical trilogy on the way, the best is yet to come.

2010-03-04 - Interview

He’s having a good time. We’re having a good time. Job done.

2010-02-12 - REVIEW

Swedish techno wizard Axel Wilner, aka The Field, for €20. What’s more, it’s a live show and they’ve thrown in some visuals as well.

2010-02-11 - REVIEW

As we leave the O2 satisfied but wanting more, and you can’t help but feel that that’s just the way Depeche Mode like it.

2010-01-15 - REVIEW

DM put many a band to shame with the energy and enthusiasm they bring to performing live.

2009-12-11 - REVIEW

Historian SIMON SCHAMA turns his headlights on present day America in his book The American Future: A History.

2009-11-27 - Interview

Jon Ronson’s engrossing tome The Men Who Stare At Goats has now been turned into a movie.

2009-11-10 - Interview

Those were the final, prophetic words from STEPHEN GATELY on Twitter, as he planned to finish his children’s fantasy novel, The Tree of Seasons. Tragically, death was to intervene, bringing a sad and premature end to the career of a man who was much loved, warm and wonderfully likeable.

2009-10-27 - Reports

Literary sensation Siri Hustvedt talks about her convention defying new novel and the influence of her father’s death on her writing.

2009-09-18 - Interview

Having resurrected James Bond in print, Sebastian Faulks has moved onto perhaps his most ambitious project yet – a multi-layered exploration of what it means to be modern.

2009-09-04 - Interview

There’s more to Electric Picnic than rock and roll. One of the non-musical highlights this year will be a political gabfest, hosted by none other than RTÉ presenter of the moment Ryan Tubridy...

2009-09-03 - Frontlines

Former war correspondent Ed O'Loughlin talks about tackling such epic subjects as Irish male identity and the pernicious influence of egotistical journalists on third world reporting.

2009-08-24 - Interview

Legendarily acerbic film critic Joe Queenan has penned a hard-hitting memoir which takes a dim view of the much romanticised Sixties.

2009-08-04 - Interview

He became a cult bestseller with The Shadow Of The Wind. Now Spanish writer Carlos Ruiz Zafón is back with a prequel, The Angel’s Game. He talks about the influence of Dickens on his work and his debt to the ’70s school of American cinema.

2009-07-10 - Interview

Fresh from the blockbuster success of her last novel Zoe Heller has taken a radically different approach as she explores the American intelligentsia’s short-lived crush on Communism.

2009-06-25 - Interview

The highlight of the evening comes when he asks the crowd to form a human tunnel. As more and more people join in, the tunnel sneaks out the door and around the corner

2009-06-19 - REVIEW

Even Superwoman can’t execute some of those dance moves or make 360 degree turns on a suspended swing and be expected to hit the right note

2009-06-11 - REVIEW

The seedy, destructive side of gambling is the subject of Declan Lynch’s new book. He talks about his nine month immersion in the world of spread bets and games of chance – and the sobering lessons he learned

2009-06-09 - Interview

From the glory days of the ‘80s to the ‘nul points’ indignation of recent years, Ireland’s Eurovision stock has taken a worrying slide. Can this year’s Moscow-bound representatives, SINÉAD MULVANEY and LESLEY-ANN, restore our standing as kings of Euro-cheese? n

2009-05-12 - Reports

It’s been a while since we’ve heard from quirky popsters Alphastates but that’s not because they’ve had a massive falling out. Rather, their lead singer lost her voice and then they suffered a sudden lack of confidence. But now they’re back, with perhaps their finest record yet.

2009-04-24 - Interview

A true-life tale of a once-famous Victorian murder investigation paints a fascinating picture of a society undergoing profound changes – and has eerie parallels with today’s fears about the rise of a surveillance culture, explains author Kate Summerscale.

2009-04-03 - Interview

2009-03-26 - REVIEW

She made her reputation as a poet but Gil Adamson’s debut novel is no work of high-flying lyricism. Instead, it’s a gritty morality fable set in the Canadian wild frontier. She talks about making the transition from poetry to bloody reality.

2009-02-25 - Interview

hotpress.com

• News
• Music
• Free Music Friday
• Features
• Politics
• Movies
• Comedy
• Lifestyle & Sex
• Audio & Video
• Photo Galleries
• What's On
• Hot Press Books
• Shop
• Competitions
• Hot Press Covers Collection
• Messageboard
• Industry Listings
• Archive
• Caught In The Net
• Buy Hot Press Back Issues
• Activate Hot Press Gift/Hot Box

Blogs on hotpress.com

• Celina Murphy: The C Word
• Anne Sexton: Sexed Up
• Roe McDermott: Screen Lover
• Rob Smith: Footbal El Mundo

Additional Sites on hotpress.com

• The Music Show
• The Jagermeister Freezer Sessions
• Hot Press Rock Photo
• The Philip Lynott Exhibition
• The INEC Homegrown Sessions
• HTC One Hotpress Photojournalist
• Genre Free Compilation
• MIX 13: Music Industry Xplained
• Shoot To Thrill: Make a Hot Press Cinema Ad
• Other Voices
• Best of Ireland
• The Big Break
• Hot for 2013
• Josh Ritter
• Eoin Glackin
• Bitter Rocc

Contact Us

Hot Press,
13 Trinity Street,
Dublin 2.
Rep. Of Ireland
Tel: +353 (1) 241 1500

Email:info@hotpress.ie

Click here for more contact information.

Click here to find out more about Hot Press

Hot Press always welcomes feed back so if you've got something to tell us click here.

Advertise With Us

For more detail on how to advertise with Hot Press click here or call us on +353 (1) 241 1540