Bad Vibes
Be careful what you send through the post. A vibrating parcel caused panic in a post office in eastern Germany before it was revealed that it contained an inflatable erotic doll. Post office workers thought the parcel contained a dangerous item or possibly a bomb and called in the police, who tracked down the sender. When they confronted him, the embarrassed individual explained that it was a life-size doll he was returning to the manufacturers because it had failed to have the desired effect. Apparently vibrating parcels attract official attention on a regular basis, so it’s wise to remember the golden rule: always pack the batteries separately.

Weird Science
We all know a new hairstyle can change the way you feel about yourself, but according to a Japanese professor, Asaki Geino, the type of pubic hair a woman has affects her personality. The professor’s thesis classifies women into five types. According to Geino, most Japanese women having pubic hair like an “inverted triangle”. This he says is the type belonging to those who are good mothers, faithful wives and caring daughters. On the other hand, women most likely to be unfaithful have pubic hair resembling the “mouth of a river”. Hmmm… I’m not convinced – but I wonder what he has to say about the Hollywood wax?

Web
A great site for lovers of bisexual erotica is Three Pillows. Three Pillows specifically targets Male-Male-Female interaction, which makes a nice change from the Female-Female-Male scenario. There are thousands of photographs covering the full list of bisexual combinations as well as transsexuals, solo pics, group shots and much more. If this wasn’t enough to tempt you, members are given access to streaming video and picture content offsite, as well as erotic writing, pictorial stories, fun columns, news items and more. Membership costs $24.94 per month. See www.threepillows.com

Books
A little gem to see how liberated we’ve become is The Feckin’ Book of Irish Sex and Love That’s Not Fit for Dacent People’s Eyes by Colin Murphy and Donal O’Dea.
Here, in one little package, is everything you’ve ever wanted to know about sex and love in Ireland. It may be compact but there is plenty of information to get fact-fiends like myself excited. For example, did you know that until the late 1960s a woman who had just had a baby was expected to attend a cleansing ceremony called ‘Churching’ as the act of giving birth was somehow sinful. Mad stuff, altogether. Published by The O’Brien Press and available in most good book stores and on Amazon UK (priced £4.50).

Sexton’s Miscellany

Safe Sex is Better Sex

Although the number one reason that people buy condoms is for protection, manufacturers are increasingly aware of the condom’s potential as a sex toy. Recent condom releases include a variety of vibrating silicon rings which fit over the condom, musical condoms that produce songs, the choice of tune is determined by the position and gets louder as the sex becomes more passionate, the ice condom which contains a special lubricant that cools to create an icy feeling, and the warming condom which uses the same principle but in reverse. Some novelty condoms do not conform to the standards set for safe sex, so please read the package carefully. Novelty condoms are available in some local adult stores or see www.condomania.com.

This Issue's Top Sex Tip: Kicthen Kinky
It’s still too cold to bring your sex life into the great outdoors, so why not explore the erotic possibilities of the great indoors. Your kitchen has a number of features all of which make it a great place to get down and dirty.
Counter tops and table surfaces are great if you’re looking for a change of pace from the bedroom. This works best if the woman sits on either, with her partner standing in front of her. Lying on hard surfaces for any amount of time just gets painful. Use a cushion if necessary. Unlike beds, hard surfaces have no give, and this means they are perfect for deep penetration. For extra vibrations, try the washing machine.
Keep tasty snacks and liquids handy. What’s in your cupboard and fridge? Ice cubes, chocolate sauce, ice cream, honey, cold water, fruit and whatever else you can lay your hands on can be used to make a mess, lick off each other’s bodies and create new sensations. Particularly good is alternating warm and cold sensations. Try having a cup of tea and some cold water handy for oral sex. Warm your mouth with the tea and go down. Next fill your mouth with cold water and repeat.
Your kitchen is full of potential sex toys. Have a look at your fruit ‘n veg, cutlery drawer, appliances or bottles. If you have a wooden or plastic spatula use it as a paddle. It’s just the right size for a decent bit of smacking or spanking. A couple of health tips, though. Your kitchen is also a haven for germs. Clean appliances, handles, bottles etc with a sex toy cleaner before use (and after!). If you are using fresh produce, it’s best to use a condom over it, as the skin of certain vegetables can rub off. Add some lube for easy use. Never insert the open end of a bottle into any orifice – any DIY dildo should be large enough so that you can maintain a decent grip on the end.
Good, sexy, domestic fun and no need to change the sheets afterwards!