The Phwoar & The Glory
There are the Oscars, the Grammys, the Brits and a whole slew of award ceremonies every year celebrating the achievements of the great and good. But no gong show comes close to outshining the glamour of the Annual Hot Press Sex Awards. On no! We have substance, style and a whole range of exciting, exhilarating awards. Not to mention cheap wine and mini sausages – nothing but the best for you, my lovely readers!
Anne Sexton, 06 Jan 2012
THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT AWARD
This year’s award goes to the 14-year-old British boy Hayden Taylor who is campaigning to make sex education compulsory in schools. Taylor believes sex education is not being taken seriously and that teachers are often too embarrassed, or even unqualified, to teach the subject. Taylor wants school and the city council to co-ordinate experts in personal, social and health education to prove that sex education is a subject worth investing in. Good for him!
THE KIDS NOT ARE ALRIGHT AWARD
While Hayden Taylor is campaigning for sexual information, young men in Japan really can’t be arsed with sex. That’s according to a Japanese government-commissioned study anyway. The study found that more than a third of young men between 16 and 19 years old had no interest in sex or even actively disliked it! Huh? What’s more 83.7% of 20-year-old men were single and nearly half of them had never had a girlfriend. Young women were similarly disenchanted – nearly 60% of young women were uninterested in sex. What’s wrong with these people? I wish I knew.
THE MOST BIZARRE SEX TOY AWARD
Young Japanese people may be bored with the whole idea of sex, but Japanese inventors are not. Instead researchers are working on a remote kissing machine that will allow separated lovers to engage in simulated tonsil hockey. According to one of the boffins: “Kisses are haptic communications on the mouths that can express deep emotion. We considered that if we mutually present the haptic sensation to each mouth, we can convey the expression of emotion, deepen their relationship.” Hmmm… if that’s how the Japanese describe kissing, then perhaps the lack of interest in sex is a little more understandable.
HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATION AWARD
This year, the United Nations endorsed the rights of gay, lesbian and transgender people. This makes violence, harassment, discrimination, exclusion, stigmatisation and prejudice based on sexual orientation or gender identity illegal and rightly so. It’s a pity that the UN doesn’t send in a defence force to ensure that those rights are upheld because the Russian city of St. Petersburg has passed a bill making it illegal to spread what it calls ‘gay propaganda’. This means that any information on gay sex, lesbianism, bisexuality or transgender issues could be seen as propaganda. This essentially gives St. Petersburg the right to eradicate LGBT culture and criminalise LGBT people. According to the city parliament’s Vitaly Milonov the move was necessary as the city is facing “a wave popularising sexual perversion.” Milonov believes that sex education and popular entertainment is to blame. Our advice? Stay away from St. Petersburg.
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