IT COULD only happen here. Or more to the point, it could only not happen here. After sixteen successive and increasingly successful Arts Festivals, sixteen years of playing host to some of the biggest musical and theatrical acts in the world, Galway city still doesn't have a municipal theatre.

Rather than doing something that would actually be of benefit to the city and the bohemian image it is trying to cultivate, the cretinous boneheads in Galway Corporation seem to be far more interested in defacing the cityscape with luridly coloured Legoland-style building developments and pumping whatever floating Lotto funds they can lay their sweaty hands on into golf courses and the like.

It's a joke and unfortunately the joke's on us. The ridiculousness of this intolerable situation was truly brought home during the opening night performance of Canadian company Les Deux Mondes 'Terra Promisa/Promised Land' show in the IMI when during a particularly poignant silence, the sound of Albert Collins loudly playing the blues in the nearby Big Top could be heard. the IMI audience tutted and tittered and the dramatic tension of the moment was lost, the spell broken.

In recognition of this problem, several Big Top shows (including the Sawdoctors and Finbar Wright) had to be rescheduled to later times to avoid any further audio clashes. Doubtless, the Corporation would argue that this was good value for money (two shows for the price of one anybody?) but in truth, these kind of problems shouldn't be happening at the biggest Arts Festival in the country. Galway needs a decent performance space. Desperately. Nuff said.

GREAT SUCCESS

Venue shortages aside, this year's Festival was a great success, most particularly on the home front with the Smithwick Sessions featuring some of Ireland's top acts - Mary Black, The Stunning, Sharon Shannon etc - pulling record crowds. Although less spectacular than in previous years (i.e. no Archaos or Royal Del Lux type shows) there was a wealth of entertainment on offer to those who could afford it. It's impossible to mention everything in a review of this length - indeed it's impossible to see everything in a Festival of this size - so here's just a random selection of the shows I can remember.

Musically there was plenty on offer, from Finbar Wright and Sharon Shannon (whom I avoided) to The Far Canals and Blink (whom I didn't). The Canals gig was a stormer with a record crowd for Vagabonds, Footsbarn Theatre providing extra percussion, two broken mikestands and not a single fatality. Blink's Smithwicks Session in the Warwick was equally superb, giving the crowd a taste of some of the material from their forthcoming Steve Hillage produced album. Other noteworthy gigs included Tom Robinson (now happily married but still singing 'Glad To Be Gay'), The Judas Diary, Something Happens and The Golden Horde. The Stunning's two sell-out nights in An Taibhdhearc were filmed by award winning director Justin McCarthy, who made the Festival documentary "In The Shadow Of Galway Cathedral", and a film about the band will be hitting your screens next spring.

Although not the greatest Sawdoctors fan in the world ('they say nothing to me about my life"), the atmosphere that they generated in the stuffed Big Top was unbelievable. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Los Lobos who rounded the Festival off with a gig that just didn't quite do the business. I've seen better wedding bands . . .

THOROUGHLY

UNSUITABLE

Of the myriad theatre shows, Footsbarn Theatre's production of 'Romeo and Juliet' was one of the few that didn't end in tragedy. Just joking but it has to be said that the IMI (venue for three of the biggest shows) is a thoroughly unsuitable building with the acoustics of a brown paper bag and more logistic problems than an airline flight simulator. On the night I attended the Abbey's 'Hamlet Project', it was impossible to hear half of what was being said and difficult to see more than a row of heads in front of me. There again, if the reviews are to be believed, this mightn't have been a bad thing.

I managed to miss the entire Film Fleadh yet again this year although by all accounts it was the best ever, with over one hundred films shown and guest appearances by celebrities like Rutger Hauer, Johnny Depp and John Hurt. Incidentally, my apologies to Miriam Allen of the Film Fleadh committee whose 'interview' for Hot Press's Festival Feature a couple of issues ago was much maligned in the heat of the impossible deadline imposed on me by the slavedrivers at H.P. Central.

I also missed most of the comedy line-up. A reading by Hanif Kureishi won out over Jo Brand, the Far Canals gig seemed more appealing than the Comedy Cumann (who were apparently great) and an all day hangover made laughing too painful an experience to risk Jimeoin. That's the main problem with a Festival of this size - for every great show you see, there's ten that you miss.

One show that I couldn't have missed if I'd tried was Macnas's 'Noah's Ark', one of their biggest parades ever. On the first Sunday of the Festival, the entire city was overrun with various Macnas creations ranging from religious freaks, giant raindrops and the infamous Fir Bolgs to a variety of strange looking animals and a rare guest appearance by God (aka The Diceman). The creative energy and imagination that went into this year's parade was phenomenal and the ending was particularly spectacular when a giant Ark was boarded and Macnas set sail for Galway Bay. Unfortunately they ruined it by coming back thirty minutes later.

MOST MOVING

There was no shortage of exhibitions this year either. In addition to the conventional galleries a number of hitherto unused spaces were converted into viewing areas. 'Forcefield' - the specially commissioned installation by Daniel Harvey and Heather Acroyd in the McDonagh Warehouse on Nun's Island - was particularly interesting with its use of live grass, causing the exhibition to mutate and evolve over the twelve days. Local artists were well-represented by the likes of Joe Boske, Desmond Gough and Cyril Briscoe. Donal Dineen's 'This Storm Is An Angel' lay somewhere between theatre and an exhibition. However you classify it, 'Storm' was the most moving and articulate expression of grief I have ever witnessed.

What else was there? Loads. Ennio Marchetto the Venetian impressionist was funny for at least forty minutes and repetitive for the rest. New York's Second Hand Dance Co. thrilled the Big Top audience with some near impossible acrobatics. Then there was Theatre Theatricals' 'The Soldier's Tale'. The Eggopolis. The Druid shows. The Rainer gig. Terry Pratchet's lecture. The Children's Festival. Loudon Wainwright. The Maimin Cajun Band. McGuire and McBride. And on it goes . . .

The sixteenth Galway Arts Festival was a twelve-day cultural banquet. If you weren't there, you should have been. Can I go to bed now?

It's that time of the year again. Thousands of students wait anxiously for that little slip of paper coming through the door telling them the results of their 13 long years of education. Its hard to imagine how such a small piece of paper could determine the rest of your life - but to an extent at least it does.

Of course you could play it cool and not worry about that little piece of paper. You could promise yourself you'll go and join a convoy of New Age Travellers because you want to opt out of the rat race. Better still you could convince yourself that results aren't everything and many a great entrepreneur made millions without formal academic success.

But then there's the parents, brothers, sisters, neighbours and classmates to face on the day. You can just imagine all your enemies gloating over your failure while they parade their slips about like GAA supporters waving the country flag at the All Ireland Final. Panic is filling you up like black water.

As thousands of 17 year olds all around the country are opening their "little bundle of joy", trembling with every tear, there will be many screams of delight and many tears and of course there are always a few who don't really give a damn.

I remember when I did my leaving exams, I found this interesting book (you always do), Zen And The Art Of Motor-Cycle Maintenance with quite a few references to the school system. It slagged off the school grading system and said the brighter students were not so surprised by their results because they kind of had an idea of how they had done. Whereas the not so clever dogs of the world placed a lot of emphasis on whatever marks the teacher gave them because that's how they judged themselves - on someone else's opinion.

One thing is certain, regardless of anyone's personal view of the rights and wrongs of the education system, its the only one we have and it looks like we are stuck with being educated and given some kind of market commodity.

And after the tiny brown envelope has been opened, inevitably we are faced with an unenviable set of choices and decisions.

What do I do next? Do I go to university at home or away? Will I move out of home? Will I repeat my Leaving Cert. or try and get a job? What do I want to do? The list of questions is endless. But the last thing you want to do is join the 300,000 on the dole queues.

Although you will have left school, your schooldays are not necessarily over. A new kind of schooling is in store for the many thousands who choose to stay in education. For some university life will open new doors socially and educationally. For others, there's the chance to get a second bite at the academic cherry if your results don't work out the way you want them to. And if you do happen to repeat your exams there is one comforting thought. . . .

By the time you finally enter university, third level college, or the big bad world, you will have an extra year of maturity behind you. You won't just be another naive fresher throwing up on the campus lawn during your first week of term. It's a bit like taking a year out although there's some hard work to do too.

Many universities prefer students who have spent a year out either in further study or touring around the world. They want more mature students who have a year's experience under their belts. The eggheads reading your CAO forms will be impressed if you spend your free year doing something constructive. There are plenty of organisations that can help you spend a year out, Voluntary Services International in Dublin which organises projects you can work on around the world being one example.

Another option is working on a Kibbutz in Israel. There are plenty of organisations which recruit volunteers to work on the Israeli collectives you can contact.

However if you don't want to stray too far from home and are determined to stay a student, filofax in one hand and Furstenburg in the other, well there's a few good colleges Hot Press would like to draw your attention to, other than the mainstream universities.

ASHFIELD COLLEGE: This college has an excellent record of Leaving Cert. results each year. A school of Drama also operates here for budding young Thespians. Any adults wishing to get back into the swing of the educational blues can enrol in the comprehensive Adult Education and Leisure programme that's on offer. There are courses in languages, cookery, interior design, creative writing, art, cartooning and personal development.

There are intensive French, German and Irish language courses. And during the holidays students can catch up on missed opportunities by attending the Intensive Revision courses for Junior and Leaving Cert.

Students for Ashfield College may enrol for 5th year, 6th year or repeat Leaving Cert. The college is situated in a relaxed atmosphere and beautiful surroundings in Templeogue. It has come a long way since it's foundation in 1977 and is usually called the Education Centre.

LSB: The LSB College offers degree courses and certificates. If you haven't got the points necessary for your chosen college and don't fancy doing repeats, you can start off on a course that leads into a degree. So if you're determined to graduate with a degree, there's no need to repeat your exams in an attempt to increase your points for university entrance.

LSB has recently become the first independent college to offer an Irish degree. Currently being assessed by the National Council For Educational Awards is a LSB BA in Psychoanalytic Studies. This degree is the first of it's kind to be available in Ireland or the UK.

The college also offers a BA in Business Studies, which is a three year degree programme geared to preparing graduates for employment.

LSB offers a two year National Certificate in Business, Tourism, International Marketing and Financial Services. Successful students are able to transfer into the degree course.

Meanwhile for those of you who only want to do a year's professional training, LSB offers a wide range of very practical one year programmes in Marketing/PR, Tourism Studies and Business and Computer Studies. And Secretarial courses are on offer.

If you want to know more about it give Guy Flouch a ring on 6794844.

ICS: ICS is an international group of correspondence schools which specialise in the writing and supply of Home Study Courses. From ICS's three open learning centres in Glasgow, Dublin and Sutton, they offer courses from Computing, Electronics, Business Studies, Technical, Horticulture, Languages, Office Skills and Emergency Services to general interest and leisure.

ICS was established over a century ago and since 1890 over 10 million students around the world have enrolled for an ICS course.