Anybody got erection problems? Low libido? Want to last longer? Get your aphrodisiacs here. Free!”

This was a text I sent to my male friends. They are pretty used to getting strange questions from me and when I’m in need of a man’s view, they generally oblige. I know how they feel about one-night stands, their penises, what turns them on and turns them off and a whole lot more besides. This time I didn’t get one reply. Odd that…
Fair enough, my male friends are all young and healthy so perhaps not a single one had any complaints of a sexual nature, thanks very much, Miss Sexton! But it was a bit of a bummer as I was trying to do an experiment.
I mentioned in the Sex O’Clock News a couple of issues back that Holland and Barrett have a range of natural aphrodisiacs to pep up your sex life. The million dollar question is, are they any good?
I decided to try out the Horny Goat Weed. This is supposed to naturally improve libido and is available in different varieties for men and women. Not that I have any issues with my libido – unless overactive counts as a problem! But sometimes it’s nice to feel even hornier – to want to go for the sixth time, rather than leaving it at three or four in the one session.
However, seeing as the good Lord saw fit to bless me with my own very feminine genital attributes, it would hardly have been practical for me to try out a potion that promised to improve the quality of your erection. Hence I needed volunteers – and not one could be found. In desperation I had to persuade Thomas to give it a go.
Before we go any further, I should state publicly, categorically and on the record that the lovely Thomas does not suffer from erectile difficulties. Furthermore I had to be quite clear with him that I had no complaints in that department. But I figured since all the aphrodisiacs were natural, it would be interesting to see what effect, if any, they had on a healthy male libido.
“Thomas,” I said, bringing him a cup of coffee and bending over so he could get an eyeful of my cleavage. “You know I think your manhood is the most beautiful, incredible and talented one I have ever encountered. Your erections are strong, your stamina is amazing and it makes me gooey all over just thinking about the roaring phallic beast that dwells within your jeans.”
At this stage he was looking at me curiously: he had, I think, figured out that I wanted something. He’s no fool. But being suitably buttered up he agreed to give Muira Puama a go. Muira Puama is also called “potency wood”; used as an aphrodisiac, it is also supposed to help you maintain an erection or deal with erectile difficulties.
Did they work? Well, yes and no. I won’t say I felt hornier per se, as I’m pretty frisky as a general rule, but I did notice a couple of interesting things. Firstly I lubricated extra quickly and just thinking about sex was enough to get me all juiced up, even early on a Monday morning. Secondly the pills did seem to have an effect on my orgasm.
One night, after a particularly stressful day during which I had received some unwelcome news, I was in bed with Thomas. While I was enjoying the sex, I didn’t think I was going to come as I was very wound up and my mind kept wandering back to the phone call I’d received earlier. But, more or less out of nowhere, a large and very intense orgasm took me by surprise. I can’t say for sure if this was due to the pills – Thomas’ skill as a lover is legendary, and the fact that I normally orgasm without difficulty may have played a part. However, it did seem to last longer than usual and, given the circumstances, I think the Horny Goat Weed might well have helped.
Thomas reckoned he felt no different, seeing as he has an active sex drive to begin with, but I’m not so sure. During week six, he had to work over the weekend. This involved catching trains halfway up and down the country and it was late when he returned. For about an hour he dozed on the couch, a spent man, yawning and complaining about how exhausted he was.
Although Thomas doesn’t normally let a little thing like tiredness get in the way of a good shag session, I had to admit that it didn’t look like I’d be getting any nooky from him that night. A pity – but I decided it didn’t matter too much as the week before I’d finally gotten around to buying new batteries for my favourite vibrator (again this may possibly have been due to the effect of the pills, as it had lying neglected in a drawer for the past two months).
Much to my surprise and delight, however, Thomas decided he was horny (“I’m tired, not dead!”) and said that as long as I was willing to take the upper hand in the proceedings he would be eager to spend some time messing up the sheets. Hmmm...interesting. Even more interesting was the fact that once we started, his exhaustion seemed to slip away and he was throwing me around the bed with abandon. Then, he picked me up and shagged me standing up. Bliss! Are those the actions of a man without energy? I don’t think so.
In a real experiment, it’s necessary to control for a variety of factors as these can have an effect on the results. Obviously neither Thomas nor I could do this; so perhaps other issues were at play. Your general happiness, stress levels, work, your relationship or lack thereof, menstrual cycle and diet all affect your libido. Furthermore there is also the placebo effect to take into account – perhaps the pills worked simply because I’d hoped or expected to see some results.
Either way, I’d say they are definitely worth a try. Natural aphrodisiacs are herbal supplements, not Class As, so they take a while to take effect – around four to six weeks. Like vitamins the effect is gradual – you’re not bouncing off the walls but gradually you notice that you generally feel healthier or in this case, possibly hornier.
And as long as you have an equally horny partner – or partners (lucky you!) – then what could be better than that?