I had a terrible stomach flu virus, it was like being sea-sick for four days. I was in that situation where I was grateful I had bought a home with – and I don’t want to go into graphic details about these things – a toilet that was so close to the sink. I would advise anyone buying a house never to get one with those big modern bathrooms: a freestanding Victorian bath, a toilet in one corner and a sink a mile away. That’s probably all I need to say. I remember using both of them thinking... I love this house!”

Despite his recent illness Sean Lock is in sparkling form as Hot Press sits down for a chat with the comedian in the Merrion Hotel. His new show Purple Van Man is Olympia-bound and so we are here to find out more about the impending spectacle.
“It’s about nothing!” he exclaims. “I don’t think I have ever seen a stand-up show that effectively has a narrative – maybe one or two. They are just normally a collection of routines or jokes. I thought Purple Van Man was a great idea but I have had a few people come up to me at shows who say they have enjoyed it but don’t get the title.”
“I had the idea, ‘let’s ask the opinion of white van man, the working-class white van-driving guys, delivery drivers, ordinary men’” he explains. “I just thought that was a funny idea. Of course, my take on life is slightly different so let’s call it Purple Van Man. I don’t own a purple van, there is no material in there about purple vans, it is just a title. Ross Noble Comes up with ridiculous titles.... Noodlemeister. I wonder do people go, ‘So what is a Noodlemeister Ross?’”
“There is no over-arching theme,” he continues. “It’s hard to talk about stand up because as soon as you start talking about it without doing the jokes it is the most boring thing in the world. (Adopts slow monotone voice) I’ll be mentioning..... shopping, I’ll be talking about.... relationships, I’ll be including some observations on...... toilets.”
Lock is one of the most popular comics on the UK circuit. As well as tending to sell-out tours he is rarely off television. A team captain on 8 Out Of 10 Cats he is also a regular panellist on QI, Have I Got News For You and a plethora of other programmes. Before unleashing his talents on the comedic world Lock had a variety of different jobs, including a stint as a goat-herder in France.
“I was hitch-hiking and ended up on this goat farm,” he says. “A friend of mine had stayed there and told me about it. It was run by this old French beatnik hippy that had gotten into farming after years sitting around in a Paris squat smoking dope. I didn’t get paid. I used to live on the farm and would have access to his barrel of wine, which in those days was like wages. Still is to a degree. My job was to bring the goats to a forest a few days a week. I left after seven or eight weeks when I found myself in the forest telling jokes to the goats. I didn’t want to be a comedian at the time. I was definitely going a bit doolally and I thought, ‘You better get out of here Sean’.
So when did he realise the life of a quipster was his true calling?
“Well it’s one of those things that just happens,” he states matter-of-factly, “I was quite interested in comedy. Then opportunities arise, you persist and you end up somewhere you never expected. Then you look back 20 years later and go, ‘Bloody hell I’m here!’ I often sit in the dressing-room of a theatre and I go, ‘How did I get here?’. It’s like that Talking Heads song [‘Once In A Lifetime’] but in a more positive way rather than in a sense of total despair and confusion!”
Sean will be spending most of the rest of the year on the road. Although he is relishing the prospect it is not without its difficulties.
“I love doing the shows! (Affects mock pretentious tone) The best thing is meeting my public,” he smiles. “ The worst bit is getting yourself to bed after a show because you have another show to do the next night. The only person who will get you into that bed is you and you’re wrestling with this other side of yourself that wants to stay out drinking. I have really been really struggling with this in the last few years so I thought I would name this other part of myself, so I called him Larry. Larry doesn’t help with the shows, he doesn’t write them, he doesn’t do any work. If you said, ‘Larry you have got another show tomorrow’. He wouldn’t care, Larry just wants to keep having a good time!”
And has Sean managed to keep Larry in check?
“I got very good advice from my friend and fellow comedian Micky Flanagan. He said, ‘After a gig before you go to the bar have a herbal tea and a bath, Larry doesn’t like that!’”

Sean Lock comes to the Olympia, Dublin on May 21 and 22.