Why the british honours system is a cruel joke

Ian Botham is thrilled to be made a Knight, saying it makes him proud to be British. Shows what he knows.

Eamonn McCann, 07 Nov 2007

I’ve just chanced on an interview with Ian Botham in which he speaks of his pleasure at being made into a Sir by the Queen of England.

Usually, I avert my eyes from this sort of thing, and strive the meantime to understand. Didn’t Martin O’Neill accept a bauble of some sort from her Majesty a couple of years back?

And there are others skulking in the vicinity of Dublin who, when not dreaming up buildings to ruin the landscape and boost their own bombast, have abased themselves before the Brit ruling class. Personally, I blame the parents.

But Botham’s behaviour goes beyond these betrayals. Becoming beknighted, he drools, was “the greatest day of my life.”

This is a man blessed by three fine healthy children. Three not-bad days there, I’d have imagined, as they bawled their way into the world.

Then there was the day that nonpareil Viv Richards described him as “my best and noble friend.” Was that not a golden occasion to glow in the memory?

And there was June 6th 1981. Headingley, the Ashes, Third Test, Australia one up... I had my ear pressed to a transistor in a crumbling villa in the Dordogne.

Botham took six for 95 in the opening innings but couldn’t halt the Aussies hitting 401. England responded with a weak 174, and were forced to follow on. In the second innings, England collapsed to 135 for seven. Three wickets left and more than a hundred still needed to make Australia bat again.

Botham sauntered to the crease, hit 149 off 148 balls, backed up by Graham Dilley, 56, Chris Old, 17 and a couple from Bob Willis.

Willis then produced the most overlooked sporting sensation of all time, taking eight for 43 to skittle Australia out for 111. The feat was overlooked because what Botham had achieved earlier defied not only the odds but rational belief. England had been on offer at 500-1 when he walked to the wicket.

But that day, remembered forever by all with appreciation of the beauty of cricket, apparently doesn’t compare with the day he bowed the knee to an inbred Germanic octogenarian as she tapped him on the shoulder with a ceremonial sword.

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