I wanted to be the best lover in the world

Not a bad ambition at all. But you have to think of yourself as well. When she did, Anne Sexton realised that she could only come, as it were, if she let herself go – and that meant being prepared to make a lot of noise indeed at critical moments. Everyone say: AAAAAAAAAGH……….

Anne Sexton, 16 Jan 2006

"Omigod! What was that noise you were making? You sounded like a cat being strangled. What were you guys actually doing in there?” I tried to look sheepish, but it was impossible ‘cos I felt like the cat that’d got the cream. I’d just had the best sexual experience of my life.

It was the summer of 1995. I was sharing a house with a bunch of fellow students – and a bed with my first proper boyfriend, Chris. Back in those days, students didn’t expect their accommodations to come with an en-suite and broadband access, and I was happy enough to have a decent room in a house near campus.

However, landlords, being landlords, always have one eye on the bottom line. Mine was no different and he had subdivided one large room into two. This would have been fine, but the wall that had been constructed between them was a ramshackle job and certainly not soundproof. I occupied one side and Toni, a reborn Christian and who had pledged chastity until marriage, had the other.

Toni didn’t approve of sex or music of a non-gospel variety. As might be expected, our relations became strained quickly. Initially, she objected to my fondness for Jane’s Addiction and Nine Inch Nails. After I met Chris, however, she had something even noisier to put up with. Aurally assaulted on a regular basis by the sounds of our noisy lovemaking, her Christian sensitivities were offended. I had discovered my ability to orgasm, and the results were, well, explosive. Toni moved out after three weeks. We carried on making even more noise!

This is my embarrassing sexual secret. When I come, I make noise, a lot of it. Depending on the circumstances, I squeal, scream, grunt and groan. Sometimes all four. At once. On occasion I even laugh, which has gotten me some strange looks from time to time. Well, imagine how you would feel if you were giving someone oral sex and they burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. I can’t help it or rather I probably could – but only at the price of my orgasm.

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