“Religion is like a pair of shoes... Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.” - George Carlin
It seems somehow appropriate to open a piece on Ireland’s forthcoming same-sex marriage referendum with a quote that references shoes. After all, if common human decency prevails when the nation goes to the polls on May 22, there’ll be a lot of gay weddings happening in the near future. And if the stereotypes can be believed, gays are apparently quite fond of flashy footwear.
Putting the shoe on the other foot, those in the ‘No’ camp (they’re totally against camp!) could seriously do with a good sharp-toed boot up their collective holes. Personally, I am embarrassed that we even need to have a referendum on this issue. Surely it’s a simple matter of tolerance? Of granting equal rights? True, we already have civil partnership, but if two people of the same sex want to walk down the aisle together and celebrate their love through the institution of marriage, then let them at it. Why deny them the right to eventually be just as miserable as most heterosexual married couples?
HUGE CONSENSUS
Inevitably, the same small-minded religious types who opposed the legalisation of homosexuality, contraception and divorce – on the grounds that such ungodly things would rot the moral fabric of the country – are out in force again, wailing and gnashing their dentures about the destruction of society and the “gay agenda.” What’s funny is that the same individuals who once so vehemently opposed the introduction of divorce are now furiously campaigning against marriage. Truly, it’s a queer old world.
The Catholic Church is totally opposed to same sex marriage, but that’s hardly a surprise. Despite their long and shameful history of covering up child sexual abuse by members of the clergy, the men in dresses still feel that they know what’s best for children and families. Or maybe they just want to retain the exclusive prerogative, among males, to swan around in a big frock...
No surprises on the No’s layman front either. It’s the same old frowning faces of those commentators who just can’t seem to mind their own business. Leading the media charge for intolerance are those noted non- homophobes Breda O’Brien, David Quinn and, sadly, John Waters. Through their respective newspaper columns and various radio and TV debates, they’ve been articulating their heartfelt, but in truth heartless, views that gay marriage is an abomination that will destroy families. As ever, their arguments essentially boil down to the catchphrase of The Simpsons’ hysterical busybody Helen Lovejoy: “Won’t somebody please think of the children?”
Despite receiving what many regard as a wholly disproportionate amount of media time and attention for their utterly retrograde views, they have still been complaining throughout the campaign, that they are being oppressed.
“It’s extraordinary really that the entire establishment has thrown its weight behind this,” said Breda O’Brien (the thought apparently never occurring to her that it might just be because it is the right thing). “We’ve every political party, we have the vast majority of people working in the media, we even have Twitter telling us our economy will be in danger, which I’d say is probably news to Angela Merkel because they don’t have same-sex marriage. You have this huge consensus amongst the elite which actually is silencing people.”
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
One organisation which did actually decide to silence people – its employees that is – was RTE, which banned its workers from publicly stating where they stood on the matter. One TV personality who courageously ignored the national broadcaster’s edict and came out in favour of a Yes vote was Dustin the Turkey – though he initially thought LGBT stood for ‘Less Gay Byrne on Television’. The video in which he features alongside RTE children’s puppet of yesteryear, Bosco, was one of the highlights of the campaign to date.
On a more serious note, Scott De Buitleir, host of RTE’s digital radio show Cosmo, resigned from the broadcaster on the grounds that the ban had left his show “missing out on reporting the various events, advocates and news of the Yes campaign – the campaign fighting for the rights of those who Cosmo was aimed at.”
He released a statement which concluded: “RTÉ has already been broadcasting plenty of debates on the issue lately. Whether or not they have been balanced is a question for someone else to answer. Either way, my personal feeling is that certain No campaigners have been given far too much national media attention than they are due. I couldn’t bring myself to adding even more illogical hate speech to the airwaves. With that in mind, I’ve decided to finish up my time with RTÉ Digital Radio.”
The Late Late Show hosted a serious but civilised debate, with Colm O’Gorman and Irish Times columnist Una Mullally on the Yes side, and Keith Mills of Mothers and Fathers Matter and Petra Conroy of Catholic Comment on the No. However, most online commentary focused less on the arguments than on the priceless facial expressions of a female audience member as she ran a gamut of emotions from surprise to resignation while the woman in front of her spoke of the need for ‘gender balance’ in parents of children. Hilarious.
UNSAVOURY THREAT
Of course, the debate has been raging on social media. My favourite #VoteYes tweet was a photograph of a sign outside St. Mary Magdalene’s Episcopal Church, somewhere in the US, which stated, “WE REGRET THAT GAY MARRIAGE ATTACKS THE SANCTITY OF YOUR FOURTH MARRIAGE.”
What seems like every lamppost in the country, meanwhile, has been plastered with posters (the ‘Yes’ side’s calling for tolerance and open- mindedness, the ‘No’ scaremongering about gay adoption), as though the whole issue can be won by clever sloganeering. Which maybe it can. It might explain why both sides felt compelled to tear the other’s posters down.
Embarrassingly for the ‘No’ side, it turned out that one of the families they used in their posters weren’t playing ball. The couple released a statement through Amnesty International Ireland.
“Earlier this week, the comedian Adam Hills posted on social media, saying that he knew the family in the ‘Mothers & Fathers Matter’ poster, and that they were surprised and upset at the use of their image,” said that organisation’s executive director Colm O’Gorman. “They are upset that an image of their family is being used to promote a message that they profoundly disagree with.
“The family, who are expecting their second child in June, do not want to be the poster family for the No side in this referendum. They want to ensure that when people look at those posters on lampposts all around the country, and feel angry or upset because of how it judges them or members of their family, that the real family on the poster values them, values their relationships and ALL families. They want them to know that they would vote ‘Yes’.”
It’d make you laugh if it weren’t so serious.
Brendan O’Carroll, whose sister is lesbian, produced a funny video in the character of Mrs.Brown, supporting a ‘Yes’ vote. He was just one of a host of well known names, that includes rugby star Brian O’Driscoll, his wife Amy Huberman, actors Colin Farrell and Chris O’Dowd, TV personalities Gay Byrne, Vogue Williams, Donal Sheehan and Angela Scanlon, comedians P.J.Gallagher and Aisling Bea and rock’n’rollers Glen Hansard, Kodaline, Hozier and Rubberbanditz, who nailed their colours to the mast advocating a yes vote.
All the ‘No’ side could muster in response was an unsavoury threat from the Primate of all Ireland, Archbishop Eamon Martin, that the Catholic Church might not be able to carry out the civil aspect of marriage in the future, if the referendum is passed. It looked like a nasty attempt to inspire fear and it smelt like a nasty attempt to inspire fear because it was a nasty attempt to inspire fear. Hopefully it is one that will backfire spectacularly, with people deciding in their droves not to bother going near a church when they get married....
DECENT THING
With so many high profile names calling for a Yes vote, it might seem as though the battle is already won. Not so: the last thing we need is complacency. Rightly or wrongly, a lot of straight people feel that they don’t really have a dog in this particular fight. The biggest worry is that many of them simply won’t bother to turn out and vote. On the other hand, sterling work has been done by the Union of Students in Ireland, with tens of thousands of students registering to vote during the final week, the vast majority of whom can be relied on to vote ‘yes’.
That Ireland only got divorce through, in a similar referendum, by the smallest of margins, is worrying. This particular issue seemingly affects a much smaller section of the population and so there has to be a risk of a low turn-out. On the other hand, this is a rare opportunity for the majority to come out and demonstrate that we are motivated by both generosity and a commitment to real equality and the common good.
Hopefully, Irish citizens of every shade and stripe, and of all ages and social backgrounds, will do the decent thing and vote “I do” on May 22.
And then we can all get on with our lives...

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The Facts
72% - percentage of people who will vote yes according to recent red c poll
150 - Number of Irish and International companies who have joined business for Yes Equality
17- Number of countries that allow Same Sex Marriage