I'm pretty sure the automated R'n'B hit machine only has two settings these days: 'Spiky Dance Remix' and 'Off'. Now that smooth operator Ne-Yo's gone all Guetta on us, who am I meant to look to for slick, moon-walkable beats? 'Beautiful Monster' does have one thing going for it, though, and that’s a 30-year-old male, autocrooning these words to his tempestuous lady friend: "I'm turned on and scared of you…" You getting all this, Dostoyevsky?