- Music
- 22 Aug 11
She found fame on X Factor and has gone on to sing for international royalty and share a stage with Neil Diamond. Ahead of her upcoming Aviva Stadium gig Mary Byrne talks about the burden of fame, the ex she never sees and coming to terms with stage fright words.
It is impossible to dislike Mary Byrne. Whatever your feelings about the X Factor, and many of the criticisms directed at the televisual extension of Simon Cowell’s ego are valid, you’d need a heart of stone not to be touched by the fairytale. Mostly because of Mary herself, who is as warm and friendly as your favourite auntie.
“I didn’t set out to have a story, I set out to be me,” says Mary. “I went out and wore my heart on my sleeve. People saw this ordinary woman, fifty years of age, getting up on stage getting a fantastic opportunity to do what she’d wanted to do all her life, but didn’t have the courage.”
Mary’s story is truly an inspirational tale, striking a blow for older women and reminding us that not all singers have to be young, thin and clad in skimpy shorts to capture the public imagination.
“To be honest, I always said that the show was for young people and that the winner would be a young person. But as the show went on, I realised that people wanted this ordinary 50-year-old woman to do well. It’s like they carried me through on their shoulders. They were rooting for me, this little fat old lady belting out some of the classic songs.”
Since the X Factor, Mary has done a number of high-profile shows including performing for Elizabeth II, sharing a stage with Neil Diamond and is now booked to sing at the Dublin Super Cup at the Aviva Stadium at the end of July.
“It’s a great experience for me, to come from the checkout at Tesco to singing in the Aviva Stadium within a year,” says Mary, who admits she suffers from stage fright. “I don’t know how this is going to go – I know I’m going to be shaking, but I’m looking forward to it. It’s exciting.”
“The show with Neil was very nerve-wracking, but he came into my dressing room and kind of made me feel relaxed. He is a lovely man – he’s quite laidback and very sweet to talk to. When he came into the room he gave me a big hug and a kiss. He made me feel very comfortable.”
It was another famous face that made the performance for Elizabeth II special, says Mary.
“On the day, my favourite part was meeting Gay Byrne. I grew up with Gay Byrne and he was brilliant to me. He kept hugging me and I kept hugging him. When my mother was alive, he was her idol. He’s the king of television in Ireland.”
Ireland’s current king of entertainment, Louis Walsh, championed Mary from the get-go. She describes him as friendly, supportive and kind and, she tells Hot Press, she knew the allegations of sexual misconduct the pop impresario recently had to face would be proven false.
“You know what, I heard it on the day it happened and I texted him and I said ‘Louis, we all know it’s not true.’ Straight away I knew – he’s not that type of person. The sad thing is now he’s going to have to hire security whereas before he could just go out and be himself.”
Fame can’t be easy, particularly if it happens almost overnight.
“I found it very hard in the beginning. I knew the X Factor was big, but the first time I realised how just how big was when I went into Penney’s in Dublin just before Christmas Eve. They didn’t do any harm to me; it’s just that they came around me in droves. There was me, my daughter, my sister, my niece and my little great niece and they panicked and I panicked and I couldn’t move either way – I couldn’t go back into the store, I couldn’t get out. All they wanted was photographs, they’d been watching the X Factor but at that time I wasn’t thinking that they all knew me. I was thinking ‘Why can’t I do my shopping?’ That was the first realisation.”
“Now when I meet people in Ballyfermot they beep the horn and wave and the young kids will come over for a hug. They just want to hug you. They look at me as the mammy figure and I’m glad.”
Fame is not without its drawbacks, Mary concedes.
“I’ve had one or two nasty comments on Twitter but I don’t read them. That’s life. Some people will like you, some people won’t and you have to accept that and focus on the positive. It is hard, and it did hit me. Then I went ‘If you don’t like me, don’t bother with me.’ That’s my attitude. Why would you want to text someone and hurt them unless you’re hurt inside? Bullies have a lot of sadness inside them. They pick on someone they think is weaker than them.”
Reading negative comments can get you down, especially as women, as a rule, are quite hard on ourselves.
“Yes, we are,” agrees Mary. “We are our own worst critics and we put ourselves down. There are times I have self-doubts. I have them all the time. What I do now is I get up – this is no lie – and I look in the mirror and I say ‘You don’t look great to yourself today, but look what you’ve achieved.’ It takes a while but then the doubt is pushed down. We all have negative thoughts but you have to focus on the positive things.”
“The positive thing for me is my career is doing well. It may not last forever, but I have that in hand. It doesn’t matter. The hype is here now and I’m enjoying it; when the hype dies down it will be just as enjoyable. I’ll still be doing singing. I could do panto. I don’t mind that I won’t be a big star for the rest of my life.”
Mary’s positive attitude is not the relentlessly sunny disposition of someone who refuses to face his or her feelings. Rather it has been the result of facing her “dark moments” and coming out the other side.
“Begrudging and anger can only damage you. It’s easy for me to say because I’ve learnt to let it go. But it is a much easier life to learn to be happy. I’d rather feel good than feel anger or bitterness. I’ve done all that. I’ve felt all those things, I’ve felt begrudgery and jealousy and anger and now over the years I found out how to let that go.”
One source of sadness has been Mary’s ex’s lack of contact with his daughter, but she says, this is all in the past.
“I don’t really want to bring that into it any more. He never had any contact with her. He has his own life and I have mine.”
Would she feel up to a new relationship at this stage?
“Not at the moment. At the moment I’m quite happy doing what I am doing, to wake up and know that I love what I’m going to do that day. Even coming to do interviews. It’s quite enjoyable. It’s therapeutic.”
While romance may not be on the cards, there is plenty of love in Mary’s life and eagle-eyed readers might have spotted that there are a lot of hugs in her story too – Neil Diamond, Gaybo and random children to boot. I’m not surprised. It’s the ‘Mary Byrne Effect’ – charismatic, warm and totally without any pretensions, you cannot help but be charmed. I’d happily give her a hug myself.