No-one got more pointlessly excited than I last month when the British press planted the idea of a Wham! reunion in my naive little skull, but when folk in camp George officially denied the rumours, it cheered me up somewhat to learn that I had a new solo single to look forward to. As it turns out, ‘White Light’ is little consolation to someone who had her heart set on seeing ‘Wham Rap’ performed live by two 49-year-olds in oversized school uniforms. The icy, distorted, house pop number will no doubt please fans of Michael’s more experimental moments, but if you ask me, and probably lots of other pitiful men and women still ferociously clutching onto their ‘Too Funky’ cassette single, it never really gets off the ground.