We knew Pete Doherty was too preposterous to be true.
Sixteen years after dumping a dead sheep outside the Brit Awards, The KLF have admitted to inventing The Libertines, Babyshambles, the tales of drug use and the affair with supermodel Kate Moss as part of their latest media hoax.
“It was meant to be a quick stunt to show the frailties of our celebrity-obsessed culture,” confess Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty. “There are too many people who are famous despite their lack of talent, usefulness and basic intelligence.”
The two men – famous for many other pop pranks including the burning of £1 million on a remote Scottish island – detailed how they manipulated the British press into making Doherty an icon. Doherty – whose real name has now been revealed to be Trevor McDermott – was making a living as a part-time Buddy Holly impersonator on the Cornwall holiday circuit. He began a short-lived affair with the singer of a well known '80s rock band, and was introduced to Drummond and Cauty at a backstage party in London’s West End. The men described how a drunken McDermott amused them with his slurred singing and frenetic dance movements, and how they then realised that this would be the perfect “dupe” for a plan they had been hatching for some time. Publicly, McDermott still strongly denies all charges.
Naturally, it’s a complete fabrication but we think Messrs. Cauty and Drummond have made their point most eloquently. Find out more at www.witz.com.
No more absurd, but this time for real is the Japanese trend for what translates as “sweets in disguise”.
Reads the report at www.treehugger.com: “It appears that men do not like to be seen eating elaborate cakes in public, so a confectioner set up what looks like a typical fast food outlet to sell what look like hamburgers and fries, but are in fact cakes. The Mamido ‘burger’ is a highlight. The ‘bun’ is actually a sponge cake, the ‘patty’ inside is chocolate cream and the ‘pickles’ are kiwi. The ‘French fries’ look like the real thing but are actually custard cream covered in starch powder and deep-fried.”
From there it’s but a mere mouse-click to the Random Offensive Joke Generator residing at www.kineticnorth.com/RandomJoke
No offence to Patrick Kielty, but Caught In The Net reckons that: “Michael Jackson goes into a brothel. The parrot says, ‘You can’t bring him in here’, and Michael Jackson says, ‘You think that’s bad, I’ve got to walk home on my own’”, is far more rib-tickling than anything the seriously unfunny Northerner came up with at the Meteors.
Which just leaves time for quick visits to www.buddyhead.com/gossip (Sly Stone spectacularly gickered); www.pleix.net/birds.html (doggy dance video); and www.epica-awards.org/assets/epica/2004/finalists/film/flv/22012-4.htm(Einsturzende Neubauten and Black Seed man Blixa Bargeld stars in shouty TV commercials).